Beauty from the Ashes...

Goodbye to my longest guests and faithful friends....

2012-01-25T19:29:00.004+02:00

I have had the privilege of hosting some dear friends for the past 7 weeks (well I was gone for 3 of those weeks!).
Clarke and Kris Stoesz have been staying with my while they have been completing the adoption of their daughter Samantha Rose. This has been one of those long stories in the making, as they waited over a year for their lovely daughter to be available for adoption. We brought Samantha (then Ana) on a hosting/camp trip to the US in the summer of 2010 in partnership with Ukraine Orphan Outreach and it was there that she met the Stoesz family... and well, you know how the story goes! A connection was made to say the least. It took a long while for everything to get in order with Samantha's documents, but I was thrilled to learn that this Christmas season would be the time to welcome the Stoesz family to Ukraine!

Clarke and Kris are on my list of heroes of the faith. This is their 4th (yep that's right- you read 4) adoption and their love and dedication towards the orphans of Ukraine continue to inspire me. I've had the privilege of partnering with them in ministry for about 4 years now as we have teamed up to bring kids to the US for summer camps and have partnered together in continuing relationships with the kids in the orphanages. They seek to glorify God in all they do and I see that their ministry is truly one that seeks what is always best for the children. Not to mention the fact that they appreciate all things Ukrainian and have such a love for this country. They also have quite the sense of adventure and managed to take overnight trains to 3 separate regions of Ukraine while they were here--despite the fact that they only had to be in Kiev for their adoption! Gotta love adventure- right?

Samantha, Kris, Rhya and Natalie

Though I love opening my home to all the different families I've met on this 'hospitality' journey-- I always count it as a true honor when I get to open my home to people that I already consider dear friends. And after sharing a living space for over 4 weeks I'd say we've earned the right to say we are even closer! Nothing like brushing your teeth together to be bonded for life!

Their daughters Rhya and Natalie (also adopted from Ukraine- pictured above) were able to be a part of the adoption adventure for the first month and it was fun getting to know their spunky personalities while they were here in Kiev. It was a full house and I wouldn't have had it any other way!

Since returning from the US last week I have so enjoyed the time I've had getting to know sweet Samantha. What a precious young lady she is and a joy she has been to have in my home. She has got to be one of the most helpful kids and I've yet to hear an ounce of complaining come out of this girl's mouth. I'm going to miss her sweet smile (and the after dinner dish washing too!). I know she will be a huge blessing to the Stoesz family-- as she has been the missing piece to their family puzzle.

I know my home will feel the void of the Stoesz family when they get on that airplane on Friday-- but I know my heart will be fuller as a result of the time they spent with me! (Cue heart warming music here). :)

*To read more of their story and adventure click HERE

Unmet Expectations

2012-01-21T19:53:00.001+02:00

Expectations are something we have to deal with in all areas of our lives. While it may be good to have expectations-- when our expectations go unmet we can face a whole range of emotions from disappointment to anger to sadness to frustration. In my life, something I constantly struggle with is dealing with unmet expectations. When I realize an expectation goes unmet, it helps me to adjust my expectations the next time around or in similar situations.

Adoption is an area jam packed with expectations. Expectations from the adoptive parents, the adopted children, community and family members. There is no way around it-- whether we want to have expectations or not, they find a way to creep in. Having met countless adoptive families in the past 7 years I've seen people with a wide range of expectations for 'how things will go' once returning home with their child(ren). I always try to be careful with families as I offer council on how to deal with the transition ahead, as I want to be aware of how much they are ready to hear! But it is clear that there are expectations at stake already.

I've been reading a book called Wounded Children Healing Homes- How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families. The book was written by a dear friend and colleague of mine, Jayne E. Schooler. I highly recommend this book to any of you adoptive parents out there or anyone currently considering adoption.

As I have read the book and the stories of the wounded children shared within, I have thought of the countless faces of children and families that have crossed my threshold in the past year. It is a reminder that my home is only the beginning of their journey-- the real work comes once they land back in the US and begin to transition into being a family.

Jayne's book starts off with a list of expectations that adoptive parents commonly have.... expectations that unfortunately often go unmet when these families bring their child or children home. As I read each of the expectations, I realized how many sounded familiar. These are things I've heard spoken or seen written on blogs countless times.

Here is the list of unmet expectations that the book starts off with (the book offers a long explanation and example under each point that further expounds- I'm just listing the main points).

Ten Expectations About Adoption

1.) Our Love will be enough.

2.) We will feel love and connection to this child quickly.

3.) This child will step into our family system and easily learn how to function within our rules, goals and ambitions.

4.) This child's needs will be just like those of our biological children.

5.) Our biological children will embrace this new child as a sibling.

6.) Our child will fit well into our extended family and be welcomed by them.

7.) Our friends and acquaintances will validate our role as parent in our child's life and support us through the adoption process and beyond.

8.) Our child will see us as his family and forget about his birth family and his past.

9.) We can do for this child what was not done for us, or we will not do this child what was done to us.

10.) We will never feel any regrets or ambivalence in adopting this child with a traumatic past.

Now if you are an adoptive parent, I am guessing that perhaps a few of these expectations resonate with you. Perhaps you are thinking, 'wow- I really did think that, and now I realize why I'm so frustrated, as what I expected has not come to pass!' Perhaps you are struggling with resentment right now and feel guilty, perhaps you are dealing with the tension between your biological children and your adopted child, perhaps you are feeling guilty because you have wondered if you ever should have adopted!

I write this all to tell you that you are not alone (and your feelings are normal)!! Clearly these expectations are ideals, and they come out motivation to have a happy and whole child in your family. The reality is that bringing healing to a wounded child takes a lot of prayer, time and it takes resources.

Wounded Children Healing Homes is a great resource. It is full of stories to encourage and stories to challenge, and full of strategy to help your home become a place of healing. So if you read one book on adoptive parenting this year, I'd go over to amazon and order this one-- I don't think you'll regret it. If you do read it-- pop back over and tell me what you think and any insights you gain into parenting your children. I'd love to hear what wisdom you glean.

Happy reading...

Where is home?

2012-01-17T22:53:00.000+02:00

I had to say the yet again dreaded 'goodbyes' to my family this past weekend. You'd think after 7 years of going back and forth over the ocean it would get easier to say goodbye. It really hasn't! I think having a 3 year-old nephew and an almost 5 month old niece has something to do with it. Saying goodbye to my other family and friends is hard in its own right- but they will look the same in 6 months to a year's time (perhaps a few more wrinkles!)-- It is the little ones that change so much! I realize how quickly time is passing each time I make a visit 'home' and see how much they've grown and which developmental stage they've reached.

And yet when I'm at 'home' with my family my heart aches for my other home as well. I think of the ministries I am a part of, the families that God has had me meet, the children I've seen adopted and then I think about how I want to hurry back and settle into my 'normal.' I always laugh because it seems as if I use the word 'home' for wherever I am currently NOT located. If I'm here in Kiev and talk about home I usually mean Washington. And when I'm in Washington and I talk about my home I mean the one in Kiev. It is an odd phenomenon to describe.

In some ways I think living in this tension is healthy. In reality it challenges me to be reminded of the fact that neither location is truly my home. Neither is the place that will bring me true contentment or fulfillment. I have this tendency to think that wherever I am not is better--- you know, the famous, 'the grass is always greener on the other side.' Each year I learn more clearly that it is not.

Problems exist both here and there.

Pain exists both here and there.

Heart ache exists both here and there.

Joy exists both here and there.

Jesus is at work both here and there.

Greener grass is really only an illusion.

I was thinking about the part in 2 Corinthians where Paul talks about longing for heaven.

"For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. ² Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, ³ because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. ⁴ For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. ⁵Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." (2 Corinthians 5:1-5)

Yep, I'm longing for heaven- and I'm so thankful for that deposit of the Holy Spirit to remind me of that truth. I'm trying to keep that in perspective this week as my heart is aching just a teensy bit more for home. It reminds me of the famous C.S Lewis quote: "If our deepest desires cannot be satisfied in this world, then we must have been made for another world." That statement has always made so much sense to me!

So that is what I'm thinking about this week as I settle back into 'normal' in this home :)

AND since she is so darn cute- I will finish this post with my final little photo shoot I did with my niece Savannah last week! I am a little biased- but I do think she is the cutest baby ever.

I think she's about the sweetest thing I've ever seen!

Where I've been...

2012-01-09T08:30:00.000+02:00

No- I've not been blogging much lately....I've been in hiding--and am often found to be in hiding with this little gem- my niece Savannah. I have had a lovely Christmas/New Year's in the US with family and friends. I'll be back to blogging when I return to Kiev next week-- for now I prefer the spot on the floor next to this little gal...she somehow manages to be the continual subject of my photography!

yep-- a pretty sweet place to be!

Be back soon!

A little bit of Christmas

2011-12-29T08:49:00.000+02:00

It has been a very FULL last week of life! A whirl wind of activity with work in Kiev and traveling to Kherson to visit our kiddos then I quickly packed up and flew home to celebrate Christmas with my family in Seattle. Hard to believe 2011 is drawing to a close. But what a GREAT year it has been!

I wanted to share a bit about our time in Kherson with the kids-- where we brought loads of 'all things Christmas' to 2 different orphanages and the transition home that Agape (a partner ministry) runs in Kherson. It was a bit of a ministry blitz to say the least as we didn't get nearly enough time in each location-- but it was the nature of the time we had and so we had to work with it.

Most of the kids we met with had been a partof our 2011 summer camps, so the trip allowed us to not only celebrateChristmas with the youth but also reconnect with all the kids we had builtrelationships with this summer.

Our celebrations also includedbringing Christmas trees to the orphanages, decorations, Christmas crafts andto wrap up our visit, time decorating cookies! It was a sweet and very sticky time indeed-- Though perhaps not very clean! ~~(what was I thinking to have over 100 kids use sprinkles and frosting?)~~

The kids were thrilled when ourteam arrived, huddling around us as we passed out the pictures we had printedfrom our time together at camp. Now bundled up in their winter gear, our recent summer fun running around inthe sweltering heat suddenly felt like a distant past. But at we reminisced about our time at camp and flippedthrough the photos together, the memories quickly came back as we asked thekids their favorite summer highlights....and believe me-- they had many!

The kids seemed excited about their gifts (but really-who doesn't like to unwrap a present AND get chocolate!?). We are praying the Bibles we gave out will be read and absorbed. If you think of it- be praying for these sweet faces and that the words of LIFE will breath life into their precious hearts as they read the story of Jesus.

I was quite taken away with these sweet girls...

One teen, Sasha shared how he had given his heart to Jesus at the camp this summer and was doing his best to live for God and tell other kids about his new life with Jesus. The joy as he spoke was undeniable. Hearing this was definitely one of the highlights of my weekend! It is encouraging to know that the seeds we planted this summer have not died out but are truly growing.

I also got to reconnect with two of my 'favorites' (i know that isn't supposed to be allowed!) at the Kolinenska orphanage. Natasha and Tanya regularly call me throughout the week- so that has given us a special relationship. I adore these girls so much and am sad I live so far from them--as they need much encouragement and support. I brought them a bunch of good books, so I'm hoping that will keep them occupied for awhile and their minds active. As always it was sad to say goodbye..

So that's the Ukrainian Christmas report! (Though the 'real' Christmas celebrations in Ukraine take place on January 7th- when the Orthodox calendar recognizes Christmas). And you thought Christmas was over? Think again!

Santa's Little Helpers...

2011-12-14T22:47:00.002+02:00

Tomorrow we are off to the Kherson region to bring some Christmas cheer from our Orphan's Promise team of volunteers!

We are going to be bringing Christmas celebrations to two orphanages we work with in the region and the boys house that Agape runs. We will be bringing Christmas trees, decorations, Christmas cookies and gifts!! We will be visiting mainly all the kids that were at our summer camps the last two summers and spending time getting all caught up.

We are very excited about the gift we have for the kids 12 and under- The Jesus Story Book Bible! This is a children's Bible that was published by Zondervan in the US, and a Christian publisher in Ukraine, In Lumine, has now made it available in Russian. What's even better is if you are giving it away to orphans, you can get the Bibles for just $5! This is a steal of a deal. If you get a chance to check out this Bible in English you should-- it has beautiful illustrations and the story telling is brilliant as it weaves the promise of Jesus, the Lamb of God into the pages of the entire Bible from Genesis to Revelation! We hope the kids like it as much as we do!

And in addition to gifts-- we are bringing cookies and cookie decorating supplies (thanks to some awesome donations we got from Ukraine Orphan Outreach). So since we are bringing cookies- that means I spent all of today baking up a TON of sugar cookies! Thankfully I had some helpers. My friend Kelly came over to lend me hand, plus Rhya and Natalie who are staying with me right now (with their parents who are adopting) jumped in to roll out some dough. We were a good team and I think I have well over 100 little snowmen and gingerbread men packed up and ready to go!

We'll be in Kherson till Monday- so please keep our team in your prayers and for the kids we will be spending time with! I'm eager to see many of 'my girls' who keep my cell phone ringing most of the week!

Christmas In Flight

2011-12-14T22:10:00.000+02:00

Life has been rather full lately-- Hence the lack of blogging this month!

I just finished producing a Christmas play at my church- International Christian Assembly in Kiev (an English speaking- international church). And this time I decided to not only direct but ACT as well! I had to dust myself off a bit- as it had been awhile since my college days! For those of you that follow along and didn't know- I studied Theatre at Seattle Pacific University- and really saw my life on the stage....until God brought me to Ukraine!

So it is really a gift when I get to pull out my old theatrical skills and put them to use. I had the honor of using the script that a friend (also an SPU grad) had written. It was fun because the show took place in the 'Seattle Airport' and was about a couple 'running away' from their family at Christmas, hence the title- Christmas In Flight. It was a delightful show that presented a heart-warming message of forgiveness and second chances and reminded us of the God who never stops pursuing us! It was a privilege to get to produce my friend's show and see it touch the hearts of many. We did it as a dessert theatre in the round-- and we performed 4 times to sold-out crowds!

I got pretty sick after the show, so I've been spending this week trying to recover...and counting the days till I board my own flight bound for Seattle (8 more days!)

Fall Фoto Fun!

2011-11-30T16:05:00.001+02:00

I've been trying to work on my photography skills as of late, and providing free family session is a great way to get experience! My friend Tara asked if I'd do some photos of her 3 sweet kiddos this fall so we had a fun afternoon making them smile. I shot manually-- something my friend Karen (a real professional!) is inspiring me towards. I still haven't perfected any real technique but I think we got a few keepers and one even made the Christmas card for this family this year (can you guess which one??)- so I'd say that is a pretty good start!

It wasn't too bad either that my friend payed me in the form of peanut butter and cake mixes! Those are hard to come by over here!

Time in the Far East

2011-11-26T17:32:00.000+02:00

Well I was corrected! Apparently we were further into Russia than Siberia- in what is deemed the 'Russian Far-East.' And after flying for 10 hours east- I agree-- it is pretty far!! Apparently saying 'Siberia' is the same faux-pa as putting a 'the' in front of Ukraine. I stand corrected.

Our time in the far east city of Khabarovsk went great. I traveled with two of my colleagues and ministry partners, Mina and Galina and we trained a group of about 20-25 people who desire to teach life skills to older orphans in this region. There are little to no resources for working with orphans here, so they were glad to have our curriculum brought over and some basic training to go with it! We did a 4 day training with about 6 hours of teaching each day.

I was amazed to learn of the great need in this region. To say they have a lot of orphans would be an understatement. This region of Russia makes Ukraine look like they have their act together. While Ukraine is transitioning to foster care and more orphanages continue to be merged or shut down, Khabarovsk suffers from over crowded institutions with over 150 kids in each of the 66 orphanages in this region! I was shocked. The statistics surrounding the trade schools where the kids go when they graduate are not any better. Over 30% of the kids are dead within 3 years of graduating. Sobering statistics.

The people we trained were so grateful that we came, and made us feel like saints for traveling so far. But to tell you the truth- they were really my heroes. They are a small group of believers who have been challenged to reach the orphans in their community and are seeking out all the resources they can to be effective-- and they are the minority.

One man who attended the training was a former orphan himself. He stood up after one of our teachings and with tears in his eyes began to speak-- 'this information is so needed' he said, 'It's true what you are saying. I look today for the kids I grew up with and I can't find any of them. They are either in prison, dead, or alcoholics. The future is empty without God. I would be lost like them without Him.'

I am always amazed at the testimonies of former orphans like this man Yuriy, and hearing how God saved them. Yuriy now has a 19-year-old boy under his wing that he is trying to help rehabilitate- a boy he picked up off the street-- destined for a life like that of his friends. But Yuriy is determined to help give this boy a different future. This boy recently gave his life to the Lord and is trying to turn it around--but it isn't easy.

most of the people we trained- on the last day!

It was a privilege to have this opportunity to travel east and equip more of the saints to reach these kids...the many many kids. It was very humbling. I now see through even different eyes the work that God has done in Ukraine and how far we have come and how now Ukraine is paving the way for Russia. My friend Galina keeps telling me I can't leave Ukraine until all the kids have homes-- but now I am reminded that the work is far greater than just Ukraine. Don't know if I'm ready to be sent to the far-east permanently-- but if you are praying about a mission field-- then I'd add that to your list! The need is overwhelming.

Our time in Khabarovsk was pretty much spent at the church teaching. But what little we did see of the city is below...

I felt right at home in Khabarovsk when I saw a sign with my name!
The caption says 'clothing from Great Britain'--(yes please!) :)

My fearless travel companions and friends- Mina and Galina

Cathedral in center of Khabarovsk- a winter wonder-land

Off we go!

2011-11-14T06:30:00.000+02:00

During the Soviet Union people that rebelled against the system were sent to the far east....Siberia! And that is where I'm being sent this week....though completely out of my own volition! :)

Many of you know that we have developed a Life Skills Curriculum for older orphans that is designed to be taught to kids in the last two years in the orphanage. We have been invited by a ministry in Khabarovsk, Russia to bring the material to them and hold a 4 day seminar for how to use the curriculum and how to work with older youth.

Khabarovsk is the second largest city in the Russian far east (Siberia) and is just 30 km from the Chinese border. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that we will fly east for 12 hours and still end up in a Russian speaking environment! See... Russian is a useful language after all! :)

Please be praying for our team as we teach this week and share our experiences with the Christians in Khabarovsk. Look forward to sharing more when I return!

(If you look at the map above, Khabarovsk is on the eastern most side, right on the tip of China).

Coming full circle

2011-11-12T00:59:00.001+02:00

I've known Illya for a couple years through various ministry we have done in Kherson (Illya grew up in the main Kherson orphanage). However I didn't get to know him better until this past summer at camp, when he was in my English group. I always make kids sing silly songs in English and it seems to make us connect! He went along with it anyway-- good sport that he is. We had a lot of good laughs in the process.

Illya is just the sweetest most polite kid! He was one of my 'best' students and I quickly learned it was because he had spent the Christmas holidays in the US, with an American family. I also soon learned that this family was amidst the paperwork process and would soon be traveling to adopt him! I was so excited when I found this out! A 16-year-old boy-- on the verge of aging out, would be given a family-- just in time.

I knew that Illya would do well in America. I also knew that a boy who is biracial would be accepted better in the US- then he ever would amidst the racism that is so prevalent in Ukraine. I asked Illya all about his soon to be family and made a point to remember their names so I could track them down and connect with them.

After camp I searched all over the internet and could not find this couple who Illya said was going to adopt him. It seemed I must have had the name wrong or something!

Well about 2 weeks after returning from camp I get an email from....you guessed it-- Illya's adoptive mom! Apparently she has been a blog follower of mine for awhile and when she saw Illya's picture posted along with the story I had written about camp she figured I must know her son and decided to write me and connect! I just love when God allows connections like this to happen-- just too cool. The woman I was looking for had found me!

So all this back story to say....Illya's family finally got their adoption appointment to travel over and get him this fall. His parents stayed with me on their way to the region so I got to hear more of their story and how adoption was the last thing on their mind....until they met Illya! I love when God moves like that!

This past week Illya and his mom stayed with me again as they were finishing up at the embassy and getting ready to head home today. The other night as we were all hanging out in the living room I looked at Illya and I looked at his mom and I couldn't help but smile. I love when life comes full circle like this. A boy I meet and get to work with at summer camp winds up being an adopted child that I get to see placed in a family-- a family that I then am able to open up my home to.

It really doesn't get much sweeter than that!

All grown up...almost

2011-11-11T22:30:00.000+02:00

I was in Kherson last week preparing documents for a small group of kids who will be traveling to the US over Christmas. One of the places I always try to visit while in Kherson is the main internat (orphanage) in the center of the city. I've known some of these kids for nearly 5 years now. Really I don't get their often enough because I'm always amazed at how much the kids have grown and changed! I am also reminded that they are still there.

One sibling set has weighed on my heart all these years. Edic, Sasha and Nika. We've taken 2 of these 3 sweet kids to the US, so I've gotten to know them decently through that time. Paperwork was never done for them, as there mother was in prison all these years--making them never available for adoption. Edic will age out of the orphanage this year as he is 18. It amazed me as he still recalled memories we shared together on bus rides in the US 4 years ago--when he seemed like such a kid! Those trips were so meaningful for the kids...I'm reminded of that when I hear their stories.

If you look closely, you'll see that Nika (on the right) is the same little girl that is with me on the right hand column of this blog. I've never had the heart to change that picture, as her little face has always been so endearing to me. It was taken on the last day of a camp we did-- when she was sad to say goodbye--nearly 5 years ago! When I saw her this time I was stuck by how grown up she looked-- that little girl look had left--she is now a young woman. And yet when she saw me she came running up with a big smile on her face-- something in her little girl eyes seemed to remain-- distant-- but it was there.

Orphan Sunday

2011-11-07T15:44:00.001+02:00

Yesterday we honored Orphan Sunday across the nation of Ukraine...well across the world for that matter-- but I was in Ukraine-- so that is where I took part in an event! The Alliance for Ukraine without Orphans launched a campaign to challenge churches across Ukraine to take part- whether it be corporate prayer or an entire service dedicated to speaking about the concerns of orphans and our role as Christians in solving the problem. In Ukraine the event was deemed 'Day of Prayer for Orphans' since the word 'Sunday' in Russian literally means 'resurrection.' We figured a day called 'Orphan Resurrection' may not work as well, and decided to use the word 'prayer' instead :)

I had the privilege of getting to speak at my church- International Christian Assembly here in Kiev. I go to an amazing international congregation here with people representing all corners of the world. The awesome part of our congregation is that we have so many people with a heart for orphans and involved in orphan care, adoption and other forms of out reach to orphans in Ukraine. In order to show our church a picture of God's heart for the orphans I decided to talk on camera to those in our church who are out on the front-lines in orphan ministry and what resulted was this little film, which I will share with you here....

grab a tissue and be prepared to ask the question....what will you do?

Our kiddos 2 months later...

2011-10-30T22:01:00.002+02:00

About 2 weeks ago I had the privilege of going to visit all the kids we had brought to the US on our hosting trip this past July and August. We brought 13 kids from the Khmelnestsky region to my home church for 3 weeks and after my quick goodbyes with them at the airport in Kiev, I had yet to reconnect with all these sweet faces and see how they are doing. So recently I made the venture to see these dear kids.

It's about 4 hours by train and then an hour driving to get to their little village. When I walked into the room I was mauled with loads of hugs and quickly became even more popular as I handed out letters from all their host families and bars of chocolate. They all retreated to their own little corners as they read the letters their families had written (and we had translated at my office into Russian). It was so cute to watch them sharing with one another the news that they were reading!

They were so excited to get these letters and hear what their host families were up to and of course play the 'remember when' game with me. I was amazed at the little details the kids remembered from their time in the US. From foods they ate, to various adventures they went on with their host families, all the kids were able to recount moments and the things they loved.

3 of these kids are in process right now of being adopted, so I'm super excited about that. Most likely the families will travel over in the first part of 2012. And for the rest of them that desire to be in a family I am praying!! (If anyone is willing to advocate for 2 amazing boys- the two boys pictured above on the right are brothers and are pretty darn sweet!- email me for more details.)

After my time with the kids at the orphanage I went to Tanya's house for dinner with her family (Tanya was the caregiver on the trip). What a humbling experience that was. The village where the orphanage is located is very tiny. About 400 homes I was told.

Tanya's family lives very simple.... toilet outside, no bath or shower, no running water. And yet she is one of the happiest most gracious people I have met-- as is her mama. They made me a lovely dinner and packed me down with loads of food to take home! Fresh fruit, canned veggies, walnuts, and a sack of potatoes that I could hardly carry home, and I'm not exaggerating! Their generosity out of the little they had amazed me. I felt bad that they gave me so much-- but they wouldn't have it any other way.

Tanya was so so so grateful for her time in the USA and all she learned about God while she was there. She continues to read the Bible since returning to the village, but struggles not having any Christian friends or community. I can tell it is hard for her to grow, but she was asking some great questions that showed she has a heart to learn. So, if you think of it, pray for sweet Tanya! Pray she can some how get connected with local believers and that she will continue to seek out a relationship with Jesus. I love her heart so much.

7 years ago...

2011-10-16T19:27:00.001+03:00

October 4th, 2004 I boarded an airplane that was bound for Kiev, Ukraine. I had never been therebefore and I had no idea what I was going to be doing when I arrived, but I was ready for anadventure--- I just didn't know at the time how long that adventure would last!

I remember the tears that fell as I tried to be brave as Isaid 'goodbye' to my family. 9 months sounded like such a LONG time for someone who had picked the closest University in order to go home on the weekends! If you hadtold the girl sitting on the airplane that day that this flight was going tochange the course of her life-- and that 7 years later she'd still be inUkraine-- I think there is a good chance that girl would have bolted the otherdirection. But I'm glad she didn'tknow. God knew she didn't need to, because he knew he would work on her heart through time.

I remember praying a scary prayer before I left for Ukraine. I remember praying and telling God that if I was going to go onthis adventure then I had to be open to what He wanted it to be about. I toldGod that I didn't want just some 'experience' so that I'd be able to check abox on some list of life long goals---('live overseas- check!') So instead I prayed, show me what you want for me in Ukraine, and let me be open to more than just an experience....

I think that prayer changed everything.

So here I am. 7years later. God burdened my heartwith the stories of countless orphans and he put a spirit of adoption in myheart, and as a result my life looks a lot different then I ever would have planned.

I've been in quite the reflective mood for the past week as I'vethought back to memories over the course of the past several years. I've been thinking about all my favorite moments and all thethings I've learned-- the funny and the serious alike.

This country has shaped who I am. I realize now that I've grown up here...I've become an adult here. I was thinking the other day about how I couldn't tell you the price of a gallon of milk or a pound of bananas in America- but I get by fine with day to day life in Ukraine and negotiating with the babushkas selling their fresh produce on the streets of Kiev. Isn't it amazing what time does?

There are times when I am tempted to think, what would have happened if I had never left? What would my life look like in the US? Would I be married and have a family? Would I be pursuing acting? Would I be working with kids? Really pointless questions I realize...since they can't be answered.

Lately the desire to be a mother has been stronger than usual (maybe it's the whole turning 30 thing!) I see babies, I see kids in the orphanage, and I think- Lord- I want that! I want to be someone's mama- to have children--to mother--to nurture.

Yet a thought struck me the other day as I was praying and once again surrendering this desire to the Lord. I started thinking about all the kids I've 'had.' Not kids I've given birth to....but the kids that have come into my life, the kids I've seen adopted, the kids at the school I've mentored, my cousins in Kiev, kids at camp. So many faces. And I remembered a verse in Isaiah...

"Sing, o barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor, because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband" says the Lord."
Isaiah 54:1

And it's not to say that I'm a 'desolate' woman (because I don't see myself as such)...but at times I think loneliness can tempt you to feel that way. I started thinking of that phrase....more are the children of the desolate woman, and I thought, yes-- that is so true!! If I had been married with kids the last 7 years, I'd have never 'given birth' to any of the kids I have now. And really I've birthed a lot!! :) This week I counted that I've been involved in over 54 adoption processes for some 75+ kids. Wow. Do I want to be a mother? Yes! But I recognize that God has given me so many children in this season of waiting-- and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

So being in the reflective mode that I mentioned, below you will find some of my 'highlights' of the past 7 years. In reality there are too many to be mentioned here, but as I sat and made a list, these are the first 10 that came to mind as I reflected on the goodness and faithfulness of God throughout my time living in Ukraine.

'Top 10' life moments in Ukraine (in no particular order)....

1.) Being the 'older sister' to my 6 cousins and getting towatch them grow up.
Having neverhad younger siblings it has been a privilege to have these kids in mylife-- they have blessed me in numerous ways. I especially have loved having 'little sisters.' When I first came my sweet Gabrielle was only 7 and now she is a freshman in high school! And Victoria and Honnah who were in middle school when I arrived have since left home to college and work! It has been a JOY to walk with these girls and to do my best to speak truth into their lives at this vulnerable age. They are the best sisters I could have ever asked for.

2.) Seeing God answer prayers for the orphan in the seemingly 'impossible' circumstances.
One of these 'miracles moments' was seeing Rimma and Lizzie Roge finally get to go home after many years of their parents battling through a mess of documents. The Roges are my heros for their perseverance on behalf of the orphan. Another 'impossible' circumstance was the Peck's adoption this year. We saw God move in amazing ways as he moved the hand of the US govenrment to give Julia a family. It reminded me that God's heart is with the fatherless and he seeks those who are willing to fight for justice on their behalf.

3.) Seeing Friends embrace God's heart for adoption.
I've had the chance to walk with 2 friends from 'home' through the adoption process. One was a family from my home church who came and adopted Oksana, a girlvery dear to my heart. Now a piece of my Ukrainian world resides at my home church when I visit.

The second instance was when a girl I went to college with came with her husband and adopted 2 kiddos from Ukraine-- that experience bonded us for life and we went from being college acquaintances to dear friends!

4.) Having my family get to see 'my world' and see why I loveUkraine.

The first year I was here my parents and brother made the long trip over and since then my parents have been back two additional times. Having them see my life here was so important to me and as a result they now have an appreciation for Ukraine and support me in being here--which means the world to me. (Love you family!)

5.) Having Kristi as my 2nd mama, auntie, mentor andfriend.

Kristi Weber (the wife of my dad's cousin) has truly poured somuch wisdom and council into my life as she has walked along side me in Ukraine. She daily points me to Jesus and cheers me up on the 'bad' days. We have prayed and fasted together, cried together, traveled together, laughed together and have challenged one another on our faith journeys. We are very different--but she is my favorite person to spend time with. I know she has made me a better person and has shaped me in many ways. I love doing life with this gal!

6.) Seeing an increase in national adoptions and getting to promote adoption among Ukrainian Christians.
One such highlight was planning a conference in 2010 for Adoptive families in Ukraine. Over 200 people attended and it was simply inspiring to see how God is raising up the body of Christ in Ukraine.

7.) Seeing the very first orphan I ever met adopted into a loving Christian home

Ira was the first child I met in Ukraine when she was only 11 year's old. I prayed she would find a family and God answered that prayer just 2 years later. Ira became Erin and is now 18. Her parents have become dear friends as well and 'adopted' me as a daughter too.

8.) Starting a hospitality ministry to adoptive families

I truly love getting to open up my home to families adopting from Ukraine. Since I opened this 'hospitality house' I have hosted just over 30 families and have so enjoyed getting to hear the various adoption tales and see kids in their forever families.

9.) Being a part of ICA church, a place I love to worship and live life with my church family.

I've been a part of International Christian Assembly since I arrived in Ukraine and it has become a place I love to call 'home'. I have a wonderful community there of internationals- all living in Ukraine for various reasons and following Jesus.

10.) Directing plays for students at Kiev Christian Academy
When I left the US I had surrendered my life in the theatre to the Lord, thinking there would be no opportunity for using it in Ukraine. But soon after arriving, the Lord gave me huge gift when I was connected with Kiev Christian Academy. I was asked to help with their drama program and ended up becoming the part time drama teacher! I've since directed 7 shows at KCA. This has been my creative outlet and a chance to use my theatre education. I also just LOVE these kids.

I know I could come up with many more moments and memories-- but I will stop with 10 for now! It has been an amazing 7 years of living life in Ukraine and seeing what God has in store around each bend. People always ask me 'how much longer' and honestly that is a hard question for me to answer. My easy answer is, "well, I never thought I'd be here this long!" And that's the truth! Like I said, I never would have imagined this life-- but I see God in it, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Thanks for following along on the journey!!

Celebrating an Adoption Anniversary!

2011-10-14T13:43:00.000+03:00

I had my first invitation to 'blog' for someone else this week! My friends Jason and Holly Bollinger adopted 2 precious Ukrainian girls last year, and this week marks their year anniversary of going home with the girls. Because I played a role in their Ukrainian adoption adventure, they asked if I would contribute to a series of posts celebrating their girls' 1 year anniversary home. It was a privilege to be asked to share their story from my perspective.

The Bollingers continue to inspire me as they share their adoption story and as spur others on in walking out a relationship with Jesus and reminding us that we always have more love to give.

Happy One Year Anniversary Olivia and Natalia! You are two very blessed little girls!

Click here to visit the Bollinger's blog and to see my 'guest' post! :)

Gold in Kiev

2011-10-09T00:39:00.001+03:00

Lest you be deceived, these products can not be found in Kiev. But they currently reside in my kitchen. Thanks to a lovely care package from the US from a friend and another friend's commissary perks (oh to have that!), my pantry and freezer are feeling the love. I am going to be fooling all my house guests into thinking there is a Starbucks around the corner!

I feel a bit spoiled.

I love it.

Celebrating 30!

2011-10-05T12:31:00.000+03:00

So I turned the big ~~gulp~~ 3-0 just 2 weeks ago! I decided that I needed to CELEBRATE leaving my 20's behind and entering into this new decade. So celebrate is just what I did!! You don't turn 30 every day (thank goodness) so I decided a themed birthday party was in order! My awesome friends here helped throw me one classy 'Red & Black & White' bday bash, complete with a chocolate buffet! Because what 30-year-old girl doesn't love to celebrate with chocolate!? :)

If you had told me at 23 when I arrived in Ukraine that I'd be celebrating my 30th birthday here, I might have had a hard time accepting that (especially if you told me I'd still be single!)-- but I look at the beauty that God has added to my life in my years here and I feel oh so blessed. It's not what I would have imagined....it's better. This life is a journey isn't it? Each year learning more about myself, more about the Lord and more about how I need to trust him with every detail-- and celebrate what he is doing!!

Here is to the celebration....

Proud to be 30...and excited to serve God with the next 30 years!!

Goodbye to a dear friend....

2011-09-30T12:40:00.001+03:00

One thing I've gotten pretty good at over the years is saying 'goodbye.' Even though I perhaps have gotten good at saying the words, I can't say that goodbyes are ever easy! But it seems to be a big part of living internationally...the ever changing community.

This week we said goodbye to our dear friend Yulia who has served faithfully on my team for the past 5 years! 2 weeks ago Yulia married a great Christian guy from Lebanon and is now beginning her new life with him there.....wow!!

We had quite the wedding celebration on September 17th which was a real blend of cultures. A Ukrainian girl marrying a Lebanese guy, an Australian pastor, and an American event coordinator! It made for a real international event and a lovely celebration.

Galina, Yulia and I have all worked together on the Gift of Adoption project (a project of Orphan's Promise) for the past 5 years. Yulia has been a valuable part of our team and has quite the soft spot in her heart for the kids here. She has taken nearly 30 kids to the US on hosting trips and as a result has developed meaningful relationships with countless children and has advocated for many to find families. I have always been amazed at how she would invest in the lives of these kids, with regular phone calls and visits, and occasionally taking a child home for the weekend to get a break from the orphanage. Yulia has been a fighter for the fatherless.

When I think of my years spent ministering with Yulia so many memories come to mind. Numerous orphanage visits, our summers spent traipsing around Ukraine to various summer camps, organizing fancy conferences, talking on radio programs, drinking hundreds of cups of tea in our office (that could be an understatement) and simply sharing our lives together. It is a gift to work along side dear friends who share a common passion and vision. Work no longer seems like work, instead we have been sisters in Christ, fighting in the same battle and coming before the Lord on behalf of his children!

You will be missed my dear sister! But we know the Lord has exciting things before you as you enter this new season of life! I know you will go on to love whatever children God puts in front of you! Thank you for the service you gave to us and for your friendship....

Yulia & Khalil on their wedding day.

The Face of Tanya

2011-09-26T17:47:00.000+03:00

With every orphanage that we go to and return to visit timeand time again, I always seem to see that God puts one or two specific girls onmy heart. I think it’s all I canreally handle. When I look at themasses it is hard to connect. It is easy to just see them as a group oforphans and their needs can seem overwhelming. It seems easier not to getinvolved.

But then God manages totake one face and have it stand out amidst the masses. One story becomes a bit morepersonal. One individual suddenlyhas entered your life and suddenly what you are doing seems to matter more.

At the Kalinenska orphanage that face is Tanya. For three years now we have beenvisiting Kalinenska and putting on summer camps and then returning in the fall forfellowship. For three years nowTanya's smile has greeted me each time I have crossed through those dreaded orphanagegates. Tanya has an unspeakablejoy that exudes out of her. Shehas a laugh that is contagious. She has eyes that speak life. Tanya knows Jesus, and it is evident. Her larger than life smile and radiantjoy are a stark contrast to the life she has lived.

She fantasizes about what home would be like if her motherdidn't drink and wouldn't beat her and her younger brother. The brother she has practically raisedherself. A brother who carries visible signs of physical abuse he must haveendured. She knows home isn't asafe place, and yet she still dreams it would be better there- that perhaps hermother could know God, that things could change.

It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how wretched homelife was for these kids, it still remains 'home.' It remains the place where so many dream to return. It might have not been good, but it wastheir normal. Mama was mama,no matter what she did. Itisn't this way for all kids, but I have heard this story repeated too manytimes over the years.... wanting to return, despite the circumstances.

For at least 6 years Tanya and her younger brother have beenin an orphanage, and it was at this orphanage in Kalinenska that she came toknow Jesus. Because our friendsAnya and Boguslava regularly visited the kids and taught them about the Bibleand Jesus, Tanya began to understand what it means to have a relationship withher Heavenly Father- a daddy she can trust. She loves to read her Bible and could recite me longparables from memory.

Life for Tanya is not easy. She told me about how hard it isbeing one of the only 'serious' Christians in the orphanage. She went on to say how much our timewith her during the camp encouraged her faith and allowed her to trust Jesusmore and want to grow. She said itwas nice to have people to talk through things with and get advice from-- tosee people with a passion for God.

I told Tanya that she was my encouragement; she was my hero. I told her that her faith was teaching me about true joy. It is easy to smile whenlife seems easy, but to wake up in a village orphanage each day and to choosejoy is a real testimony to Jesus living in her.

I don't always wake up and choose joy. In fact there have been many days lately when I've had to give myself a real attitude adjustment. So I try to remember Tanya, to pray forTanya, and remind myself like the apostle Paul did, that joy is an overflow ofwhat is inside. There is areason that Paul was able to say "I have learned to be content whateverthe circumstances" (Philippians 4:11). He was drawing his water supply from a livingsource, he was full of a joy that only Jesus can give.

Where is your joy coming from these days? Is it harder to muster up because ofyour circumstances?

Go back to the source. Pursue the giver of indescribable JOY. Perhaps your face may shine alittle brighter.... a little like the face of Tanya.

May the God of hopefill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in him, so that you may overflowwith hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

The Gate

2011-09-18T21:53:00.000+03:00

For the third summer in a row, we walked through these gates 3 times a day. Behind these gates live the 65 children in Kalinenska Orphanage #2. These gates have become symbolic to me over the years, because I hate these gates and everything they stand for. I hate that a prison exists behind these gates and that the captives don't even understand that they are prisoners.

Children living at this orphanage have all been diagnosed with a mental delay. A diagnosis that was most likely given when they were going through a traumatic family disruption or loss. Once this label is given it sticks. There is no reassessment, instead the label will determine their future. Because of their diagnosis the kids at this institution receive a sub-par education and do not complete normal high-school, which makes them unable to qualify for higher education beyond the normal trade school.

What kills me is that so many of these kids are smart, or could do very well with some assistance. Instead they've come to accept their diagnosis and believe that they are incapable of ever achieving. During a simple English lesson, girl after girl in my class would give up, saying that 'it's not possible' or 'I can't do this.'

They've been conditioned to believe that this orphanage is the best place for them. It was eery how many times I heard kids say, 'I like it here, it's good for me here, it would be too hard if I was somewhere else.' They literally said it the same way, as if it was auto pilot, as if they were taught to say the same phrase. Lie after lie after lie, that they have come to believe as truth.

I had a talk one afternoon with Marina, one of the older girls, who will be in the 9th grade for the second time this year- a bright girl who has lived in the orphanage her entire life with a label- one that she believes at her core. I tried to tell her about the power of belief systems, and that when we believe something long enough it becomes true-- and that is what the enemy wants-- he is the Father of lies. I tried to give her encouragement and tell her that what she thinks about herself matters. I don't know how deep it went in, but as I write this I am reminded again to pray for Marina and that the lies would be replaced with truth.

There is a spiritual heaviness that exists in this village- one that is difficult to put into words. A village of less than 2,000 residents and yet 2 orphanages are located here. Not 1 but 2! 2 prisons which hold these faces, faces which continue to haunt me. This summer I learned that the land of this village used to be a thriving economic center of the region pre-WWII. It also contained a large Jewish community. During the war the Russians came in and all the Jews were murdered. The villagers claim that their land is cursed. I have to agree. As I walked the streets of the village in the morning I prayed that there would be an out pouring of the Holy Spirit on these people and that they would turn to God in repentance and for the healing of their land.

One morning in my time with the Lord, I was brought to Psalm 107. It was one of the moments where I felt like God was speaking directly over this village and each word on the page became alive. It has become my prayer for the people there and for the children trapped in the orphanage prisons.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,

and he saved them from their distress.

He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom

and broke away their chains.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love

And his wonderful deeds for Men,

For he breaks down the gates of bronze and cuts through the bars of iron.

......

He sent forth his word and healed them, he rescued them from the grave.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love...

(Psalm 107:13-21)

Let it be so....

Baby Savannah

2011-08-31T00:22:00.002+03:00

I have much on my mind as a result of our camp in the village last week- and I will make some space here to process that soon....but in the mean time I need to brag on my baby niece who decided to make her appearance into the world 3 weeks early (of course while I was away from all forms of communication in a village and had no idea-- I came home to the exciting news!)

This is the first baby girl in our family so it was very exciting to anticipate her arrival. While I was home I got to attend 3 baby showers for my sis-in-law-- one of which my mom and I threw together. And since this baby has to know where her Auntie spends most of her time-- I decided that the theme should be no other than Matryoshka dolls! Yep-- it was a down right matryoshka doll fest--complete with a take a way doll for everyone! It was a lovely afternoon of celebrating my beautiful sis-in-love, Heather :)

I was also able to take some maternity shots for them to capture their last few weeks as a family of three and their anticipation of meeting baby girl. I'm trying to work on my photography skills lately- so they were willing to be my subjects!

And here is how she looks on the outside....when she made her appearance on August 24th! Welcome to the world Savannah Noelle...you are already so loved! It's moments like these that make it hard being so far away from home...

Savannah and Nana

the proud Auntie,

On the road again...

2011-08-17T18:32:00.000+03:00

There isn't much rest around here! We made it safely back to Ukraine and the kids arrived back to their orphanage and then after a couple days rest, were headed out to a camp on the sea where they will finish up their summer.

I too am off for our final camp of the summer! I leave in the morning for the Kalinensko orphanage in the Kherson region. This will be my 3rd summer with this group of children, so I'm excited to see them all again and reconnect with the girls who I began relationships with last year. I have to say I'm still a bit exhausted from the trip to the US- so please pray I have the energy needed to pour more into these sweet kids.

2010 camp in Kalinensko

We've already had a lot of changes with our team who will be serving at this camp- so please keep us in your prayers as we sort through the various responsibilities of who will be doing what and ultimately that we will be effective in our ministry with the kids. Also pray for unity and understanding among us- as there will be 15 of us living in a two room house! If that doesn't say community living....I don't know what does! :)

I will look forward to sharing more when I return at the end of the month!

Hard to believe that this is the summer wrap up. Amazing how time always seems to go by so fast...

Goodbyes & Thank You's

2011-08-11T09:36:00.000+03:00

It is so so so hard to believe that this hosting trip is coming to an end and we fly back to Ukraine tomorrow! (Still dreading the goodbyes at the airport tomorrow morning!) It has been a very full, very blessed 3 weeks with the kids in my home state of Washington! The sun may have not shown its face much while we were here-- but our kids were smiling.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all who gave of their time and energy and finances to make this trip possible! It really was the fulfillment of a big dream of mine and a LOT of prayer. Above all thank you to the host families who received these kids with open hearts and open arms-- you have given these kids one unforgettable summer.

Please keep us in your prayers as we fly back to Kiev-- let's pray it is a little less dramatic than our entry in to the USA!!

For those of you who gave to make this trip possible-- see the smiling faces of gratitude below...

As they said above...THANK YOU!

** For those that have inquired about availability of these kids- please email me directly. It looks like several of these kids may be adopted into families as a result of this hosting program, but I will not post details about that at this time.

Mountain Tops & Meltdowns

2011-08-09T22:13:00.000+03:00

We have been wrapping up our activities here in Washington with a very full calendar! Last week we had a game night/gospel presentation at our church, a hike through the mountains and a BBQ in the park! It is hard to believe that our time here is winding down and we will be saying our 'dasvidanyas' on Thursday! Tonight will be our farewell dinner along with making photo/memory albums.

Last Friday our families and kids met at Tiger Mountain, a great day excursion here in the Pacific Northwest. After a walk about through the woods on a fairly easy trail, we all settled down for our picnic lunches. It is always fun to see the kids switching snacks and comparing family meals! After lunch most of the families decided it was time to head home, but a few of us 'braver souls' decided we would take a more challenging treck up one of the trails that actually had an incline! So our little group of about 10 set out bound for the trail. Well, we started to anyway.

About 2 minutes into our hiking adventure, one of our 'angel girls' (as I will refer to her in this post) started to bemoan her aching legs, saying she couldn't walk any farther. I knew she was tired, but I also knew she had more energy in her than she thought, and this little miss is a queen of whining. No ifs ands or buts about it...we had to keep up with the group. I march along ahead and then look back to find angel girl lying on the dirt, refusing to go any farther. It looked like a classic toddler meltdown...and she is going on 12!

A determination rose up within me. She was not going to win this one...we were going up the mountain!

The group went on up ahead and I said I'd deal with angel girl. By this point she had dusted the dirt off of her and was heading back down the hill in the wrong direction. I grabbed her, picked her up and started carrying her up the hill (I was determined). Telling her that she had to keep going - trying to distract her and encouraging her that she could do this. We were a team and she couldn't give up.

It didn't work.

I tried distraction, and humor, everything. Her 'net' only grew louder. This little girl was getting angrier and more upset by the moment as she stiffened her body, starting throwing off items of clothing and running down the hill to where we had begun. Screaming insults and hurtful words all the way down.

It is difficult to describe the hardness I have witnessed in this little girl. Beyond this temper tantrum of control and determination to get her way, is a girl with very deep wounds. By the time she had reached her landing point at the bottom of the hill she had thrown off her sneakers and was seated on a bench with mixes of cries and screams. I tried to speak truth to her and love to her, but with her hands she would shut my mouth. Tears now began to flow from my eyes as I tried to communicate love and try to get to the heart of what was going on.

It didn't work.

The afternoon ended with the host mom coming back to the car and angel girl crawling in the trunk of the van, still angrier than all get out-- but she had won the battle she wanted-- she was in the car and not on the mountain.

I on the other hand fell into the passenger seat of my car (my dad was driving) and just began to weep. I hadn't cried tears like that in a long time. Through tears I tried to explain to my dad that I wasn't upset because this one little girl had a temper tantrum and shut me out. I was grieved because I was once again reminded of the depth of the pain and the depth of the wounding these kids possess. I was reminded that one hosting trip isn't going to 'fix' them. I was reminded of the depth of ministry needed in the lives of these kids. I was reminded of the need for prayer.

When I looked into her eyes, and saw the coldness and the anger, I was wrecked. I had tried to pray and she had silenced me. I was reminded yet again of the battle being waged against these kids.

And just like I expected, the next day at the picnic event, we were once again best friends. No acknowledgement of the crazy meltdown... just back to normal, as if nothing had ever happened.

I was reading today in the book of Habakkuk. The prayer that the prophet Habakkuk prays in the opening of the book resonates with where my heart was in that moment on Friday. It's called Habakkuk's complaint.

How long, LORD, must I call for help,

but you do not listen?

Or cry out to you, “Violence!”

but you do not save?

Why do you make me look at injustice?

Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?

Destruction and violence are before me;

there is strife, and conflict abounds.

Therefore the law is paralyzed,

and justice never prevails.

The wicked hem in the righteous,

so that justice is perverted.

This 'complaint' sums up so much of the injustice I have witnessed in the orphanages of Ukraine. The generational sin. The violence. The abuse. The perversion of the law.

Like Habakkuk, I ask a lot of questions. And like Habakkuk I don't always get the answers I'm looking for. His prayer comforts me though. Something is comforting about seeing a prophet ask these kinds of questions too, to see his frustration and the weight he carried on his heart.

I don't doubt that God is working. I know in my heart that he is using this trip in the lives of these kids and I know these are his babies. But I am once again reminded of the work that is left to be done. The walls that need to be torn down and rebuilt.

Habakkuk ends with a thought provoking prayer-- a challenging prayer....

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,  though the olive crop fails  and the fields produce no food,  though there are no sheep in the pen  and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights. (Habakkuk 3:17-19)

The words of the prophet remind me that ultimately, no matter what I see around me- God is still God. I will choose to rejoice because he is my savior- and my strength to keep fighting this fight ultimately comes from Him. Through the difficult moments on the mountain-- he alone enables me to tread on the heights.

Monkeys at the Zoo

2011-08-03T09:23:00.000+03:00

We took our 13 little ~~monkeys~~ kiddos to the zoo this week! The Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle was generous to let all 13 of our kids get into the zoo for free and the rest of our host families and kids all received a group discount! And let me tell you-- it was a ZOO!

Keeping track of all our crew proved challenging and I spent more time watching after our roaming creatures dart to and fro than I did seeing the creatures behind the glass and fences. I didn't manage to snap nearly as many photos as normal as I was too busy holding onto kids-- but here are a few from our crazy day yesterday.

The kids LOVED it! For most it was their first trip ever to a zoo.

let me tell you....staging this picture took EFFORT!

Thursday evening we will be having a gospel presentation night and are partnering with some local Russian speakers to put on a program for the kids-- so you can be praying for our team and for the hearts of all these kids. It has been a great time doing all things 'American'--but ultimately we want them to see and experience the love of Jesus while they are here and for themselves personally. Please be praying for a meaningful evening.

Just about a week to go! Wow-- the time has gone by fast!

Beach Day!

2011-07-29T05:58:00.000+03:00

Yesterday we took all 13 kids to Richmond Beach on the Puget Sound. After two straight days of rain, the sun finally decided to make an appearance which allowed for a lovely afternoon of picnicking and playing on the beach (gotta love the weather in the Pacific Northwest!). The water proved too tempting, and despite cool temperatures the kids were diving in! It was an awesome day of hanging out with our host families and checking in with all the kiddos.

So far everything is going great with the kids. There have been some 'moments' for some of the hosting families- but all in all the kids are doing great and are LOVING their time here in the states!! Google translator has proved oh so helpful for many of our families! :)

This weekend we have a Ukrainian Buffet dinner hosted by one of the families and next week we head to the zoo and will be going for a day hike!

Kara was our fearless coordinator state-side-- and a dear dear friend

Adventures in airport travel and miracles along the way...

2011-07-26T09:49:00.000+03:00

Our tired lil group finally at Sea-Tac airport!

First off- we made it!! Thank you for any prayers sent our way as we were navigating 14 little ones and 2 adults from Kiev to Seattle--- boy were those prayers felt as we saw God's hand of protection and favor on our 25 hour ordeal--- and let me tell you, it was a story for the books!! (The story below is a little long, but it's a good story, I promise! )

All seemed to start of with smooth sailing when we showed up at the airport in Kiev and checked all 16 of us in for the first 2 legs of our journey. However, things quickly changed when we got to passport control. Tanya (the chaperone) and I went up to the window and handed all the needed government papers to the man behind the counter, so he could check our documents and send us and the kids on our way.

Not so fast. I handed over the power of attorney to take the one extra boy out of the country, and Tanya handed over her power of attorney with the other 13 names of kids on it....or so we thought. When the official counted the names on the paper he only came up with 12 names. Counted again.... 12....again....12. WHAT?? How many times had we checked these documents? How could we have missed this? How could there only be 12 names and not 13?

The man said we didn't have the right to take the 13th child (a girl named Mariana) out of the country, if her name wasn't on the list. Her name was on all other documents, but not on this one- not on this important document. I felt like I was going to throw up. My heart was in my throat as I walked away and just started to pray. The man said he'd call his supervisor to get a higher opinion. I prayed harder.

Lord, you've not brought us this far to have it end like this. Lord, forgive our mistake, don't let it affect this little girl because of our error and our oversight-- Lord, please we NEED a miracle here.

Within 5 minutes the supervisor was back and determined we were fine-- we had enough documents to prove she could go. Wow!! Thank you Jesus-- you are too good to us!! What an amazing answer to prayer-- I was humbled instantly.

Boarded plane and headed to Paris and all seems great.....for the time being.

Arrived in Paris and then all hell breaks loose for the kids. Everyone is complaining, fighting, hitting, swearing, eye-rolling, wandering away without permission, and I'm starting to lose what shred of calmness that remains in my being. I gather the group for a little pow-wow about expectations and attitude adjustments. Next thing I know, 2 American women are yelling at one of the older girls in my group. My girl looks petrified as I realize she has no idea what is going on or what the woman is saying. I ask the woman what is wrong and she proceeds to tell me that this girl was continually hitting the younger boy in our group sitting next to her (he is seven and looks far more innocent than he is in reality!). The one woman is distraught at the 'child abuse' she has witnessed. Trying to use the next five minutes to explain to these women 'orphan behavior' proves futile and I just end up trying to calm down the distraught 15 year-old who was berated by the American woman. Sigh. What have I gotten myself into?

Mid-way through the melt-down of yet another girl, I suddenly realize our flight is now delayed by an hour and a half. Panic sets in as I know we had only a 2 hour lay-over scheduled in Atlanta and the chances of making our Seattle connection will now be slim. More Prayer. I knew my worry wasn't going to help pass the 9 hour flight to Atlanta, so I just prayed and attempted to surrender this worry to the Lord.

Lord, you've given us your favor today with the documents, so I just ask for your favor again. You know we want to be in Seattle tonight and not taking all these kids to a hotel. Please Lord, let us make that connection. I trust you Lord-- I know you will take care of us.

9 hours ~~(and a few stories & throwing-up/crying moments not to be discussed here)~~ later...

We ended up making up some time in the air, so by the time we landed in Atlanta we had about 65 minutes to make our connecting flight. By the time we exit the BACK of the plane and get to the passport line we have lost another 25 minutes and the customs officer seems more interested in making small talk with me about how long it's been since I've been in the US, then getting my 14 kids through the line!! We're on a time crunch buddy, can we speed things up a bit??

I'm the first through the line and start gathering the children on the other side as we wait for the others. I keep looking at my watch. Down to 30 minutes. I notice two large men standing next to me with Ukrainian passports. They are told to 'move along' by airport security. They respond, 'No, we security President.' Hmmm, I think-- president of what? This thought hardly has a moment to pass through my mind when I look to my left and see none other than former president of Ukraine, VICTOR YUSHENKO walking in our direction. What?? Hey look kids, its your former President....welcoming you....to America. Yes-- surreal is an understatement.

Yushenko and his wife then notice our Ukrainian entourage and come over for a little chit chat. Had I been in my right mind, not sweating and consumed with making our connecting flight, I may have been brilliant enough to pull out my camera and capture this oddly fascinating moment. But no, none of that. Instead, the last of our group makes it through immigration and we go bolting past the Yushenkos and down the escalators to reclaim baggage. Catch you later Mr. Yushenko.....dasvidanya!

In the midst of all this chaos we are befriended by an angel (aka an Interpretor in the airport) who decides she will help us locate our connecting departure gate. Had it not been for this woman, we never would have made it! We grab our bags (then run back for another bag that I forget)--throw them at the guys that send them back to be re-checked and go sprinting towards the train to take us to our terminal. When the doors of the train open all 16 of us go sprinting UP the escalator towards our gate- by this point we have stopped counting children. We were a SIGHT let me tell you!!

We run up to our gate literally as the last five people are boarding. I see the man we were to meet who is collecting our 14th child from us and give him a quick hello and hand off child and passport (really hope it was the right guy!) and quickly count all our remaining kids to make sure they are all still with us (which Praise God, they are!)

Let me tell you, I have never been sooo happy to sit on an airplane in all my life. I didn't even care that our kids were spread out throughout the entire plane-- we were sitting on the plane and bound for Seattle and that was ALL that mattered. Tears filled my eyes as I sat in my seat and just thanked the Lord--overwhelmed by his grace towards us. I just sat there, in awe of how he watches out for his kids, and he sure does have a special place in his heart for THESE kids.

In-spite of the low-grade nausea and the airsickness of a couple kids, the 5 hour flight home seemed like a breeze!! Upon arrival in Seattle at midnight, we were greeted by a delightful set of host families from and our Window to Hope team. The families, lovingly scooped up the weary kiddos and headed to their homes, there was a lot of nervousness and excitement in the air.

I, on the other hand crashed into the arms of my mom and dad too-- never had it felt so good to be home!

Kids and host families with our project 'Window to Hope'

Leaving on a jet plane....with 14 kids

2011-07-21T23:46:00.000+03:00

So, ready or not, tomorrow's the big day!! I will be Seattle bound with 14 children in tow. 14?? Yes, at the last minute a friend asked if we could add on another child that needed a chaperone to get to a hosting family in another part of the US. And so I thought, "Hey what the heck, with already 13 kids, what is one more?" So, we added another boy to the mix and that will make 14 kids and 2 adults traveling across the Atlantic tomorrow. I figured 16 people is a better number anyway. I do better with counting even numbers quickly. Did I mention none of them speak English except me? Yep-- fun times sure to be had! I've always said I wanted a big family-- I guess this will test my limits.

Please keep us in your prayers as we venture through Paris, Atlanta and then Seattle. I hear horror stories about the Paris airport-- and I've never had to brave it on my own, let alone with a whole entourage! So we will be praying for travel mercies.

Oh and incase you didn't hear we raised MORE than enough money to make this trip possible!! I so love how God provides!! For awhile there I wondered how it was all going to happen and then wouldn't you know, God takes care of every penny and then some!! Don't worry, we will be able to put the extra to good use while the kids are in the US-- or put it towards a hosting program for next year. Wow. So thankful. Thank you to all who gave to make this all possible-- every dollar that came in made a huge difference.

So do you want to see our little darlings? ~~(we'll see if I'm still calling them that after tomorrow!)~~ Here they are! More on them later....

If you're in the Seattle area and want to meet up with our group- send me an email and I'll tell you where you can find us!

Hopelessness & HOPE

2011-07-19T17:30:00.000+03:00

I love encouraging stories.

Stories that leave you with hope.

Stories that show your work really does make a difference.

Who doesn't enjoy these kind of stories?

Working with orphans, namely older orphans in Ukraine, doesn't always lend to having uplifting stories to tell. I could probably write a book on the sad stories I've heard-- anyone who has spent more than a day in an orphanage probably could as well.

I have two stories to tell...one that leaves me with an empty feeling inside and tempted to give into hopelessness, and the second that reminds me of how God is at work, a story that allows me to not let hopelessness prevail but to cling tightly to the opposite.

I think this is the balance that I need to remind myself of, hopelessness in this world that propels us into the arms of God. A God who gives us Hope.

"That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe." 1 Timothy 4:10

.................................

One evening I was sitting in the meeting hall where we gathered for our nightly meetings during our recent 10-day camp. I had my computer open and a small group of kids were surrounding me, kids who had attended a camp we had put on about 4 years ago in Kherson. I opened up the picture file from that camp and started to scroll through the pictures, bringing back all the fun memories. I was amazed at how the 3 kids sitting by my side had changed in the last 4 years. Sweet Tanya had gone from a 12-year-old tomboy without too many cares, to a 16-year-old young woman, scared to face the world beyond the orphanage walls.

As I scrolled through the pictures with the few kids by my side, the happy memories seemed to quickly fade. With each face that would pop up on my computer screen, Tanya had a comment to go with each one....

She just had a baby

She just had an abortion

Oh that girl....she was murdered

Had a baby

Adopted

He's gone

Disappeared

Adopted

Had a baby

Had an abortion

Adopted

With each picture that passed, pictures containing happy smiling faces, my heart began to break as I learned the reality of their stories only 4 years later. Either taken into a family (praise the Lord) or a tragic story. This encounter left me asking a lot of questions.

Is what we are doing making a difference?

How do we protect these kids?

How can we help them in a way that will last?

God, how will you save these kids???

Is there any sense to continue???

I know I can ask questions till I turn blue in the face. The reality is that these questions won't get me too far. I know that Jesus was willing to go for the one--To leave the 99 to find the 1. I have to be willing to do the same.

"Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." Romans 8:24-26

3 faces gave me hope while we were in Odessa.

The faces of Yasha, Nadia and Sergei.

These 3 young people were at our camp last year and/or the year before. These were 3 very tough individuals. All 3 grew up in the orphanage, all 3 have difficult stories to tell, and yet thanks to the grace of God, all 3 are currently walking out their own process of redemption.

After our camp last year, these three were connected with a local partner ministry of ours, who started to pour into the lives of these young people and show them what it looks like to walk out a relationship with Jesus. They are currently living in a transition home for aged out orphans and are being discipled by mature believers. I was overwhelmed to see the transformation that is taking place. The difference that a year can make.

I say is taking place, because it has become so apparent to me that it's a process. There is a reason that Paul says to work out our salvation with fear and trembling (Philipians 2:12). He understood that sanctification is a process. That is what these youth are learning as well.

They came to our camp this year as 'helpers'-- perhaps not quite ready to be launched into full leadership, yet were given responsibility far above what they'd been given before. It was amazing to watch them shine in these new roles- to see them getting excited about being in charge of things, helping create games and knowing that we were depending on them-- that we were letting them spread out their wings a bit.

During one of the sessions, with tears in his eyes, Yasha shared a piece of his testimony to a room full of captive listeners. He shared about how Jesus was changing him. Choking back tears he shared about who he would have become- about who he was on the road to becoming if he had not met Christians who had come along side him and introduced him to his Heavenly Father. His own father had left him, but he had learned of a Father that would never leave him, and never forsake him. Through his relationship with Jesus he was given hope that he could change. That he wouldn't have to end up like his parents or his brother.

There weren't many dry eyes in the room when Yasha had finished speaking.

 "The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him." Lamentations 3:25

Like I said...there are plenty of reasons to give into hopelessness around here. I could dwell on the stories that Tanya shared as we looked at the photographs and I could throw my hands up in the air and be done-- because really, what's the point?

OR..... I can choose to remember the stories like that of Yasha, Nadia and Sergei. I can choose to focus on what God IS doing in this nation, how he is speaking to the hearts of his children and how he is using those who are willing to follow him.

I think I'm going to go with the second option.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:23

Gourmet with the Greens

2011-07-16T23:46:00.002+03:00

I've been spoiled this last week-- I've been eating well-- really well! My newest and dearest friends are the Greens from Colorado! They were staying with me this past week as they were finishing their adoption & waiting on the passports of their newest additions- Daniel (10) and Lydia (7). I always enjoy the families that stay with me- but the Greens are EXTRA special! (maybe that's because Chris took it upon himself to be Mr. fix-it in my apartment!) Since they were with me for a whole 8 days we got a lot of bonding time in-- which included cooking together!

Daniel and Lydia are great helpers and Monique and I had fun in the kitchen creating the evening meals for the hungry crew-- and boy are these kids good eaters! You'd never know that they were used to eating bland orphanage food-- these kids will try just about anything.

if only I could look that calm and collected and beautiful when I am cooking!

When I'm home alone I don't make anything too exciting, so as you can see, this past week made up for the past month of eating on the go!

Thankfully I found a work-out partner in Monique as well-- so we were able to counter act our gourmet meals with a couple morning jogs together-- so fun to show her my favorite city running 'paths'- and to have this fitness instructor give me a pointer or two-- let's just say I was little sore after I was introduced to some new exercises!

It was a full house this week with 6 of us sharing one bathroom- but it was a sweet sweet time! These sweet kiddos blessed my heart so much as I watched them navigate uncharted territory with their new mama and papa and did so with teachable spirits (most of the time!) and true bravery.

One night as we were chatting in the kitchen, Lydia walked into the room and threw her arms around mama, telling her it was bed time and time for a bath and story. Only a week together and yet Lydia had settled into this new routine, and seemed to anticipate it. Tears flooded my eyes as I watched this interaction. Only weeks before Lydia had been one of many, in a large group of children-- I doubt she had someone reading her bedtime stories or washing her hair. I felt so honored in that moment to have this glimpse of this new forming mother and daughter bond-- seeing Lydia's eyes light up when mama walked into the room or when she would help mama make the evening meal. These kids come from a very difficult past and they could have remained numbers in an orphanage-- but God plucked them out and called forth a family who was willing to leave the comfortable and say 'YES.' Daniel and Lydia's lives will forever be changed because the Greens stepped out in faith.

Praying for you Green family as the prologue is completed and chapter one begins.... :)

Lil' helpers

2011-07-14T18:00:00.000+03:00

So I've had a little enlisted help this week! The newest additions of the Green family took on the project of painting my balcony (with the supervision and help of their papa Chris)!

I always knew my balcony had potential, so I went out and bought a cute little patio set this weekend, and then the Greens (who are staying with me as they complete their adoption) offered to take over my little project of 'fixin up' the patio!

Aren't they the cutest little helpers in the world? Where else can you enlist free child labor to take on your house-hold DIY project? I'm beginning to think this hospitality stuff is starting to pay off!! :)

Lydia and Daniel are just the sweetest kids ever and are it has been so fun having home in my home this week. I've never met two kids so eager to clean, help with dishes and put themselves to work! I guess I need to come up with some more projects! :)

A picture is worth a thousand words....

2011-07-07T16:09:00.000+03:00

I plan on sharing some more specific stories soon...but since a photo is worth a thousand words...in the mean time, here are a few thousand words I have to share about our time in Odessa last week with our 54 kiddos at camp....I'll let the emotions fill in the blanks...

enjoy!

Orphan's Promise Conference

2011-07-07T10:51:00.001+03:00

God's timing amazes me! As many of you know, I spent the fall in England studying with Ellel Ministries. While at Ellel, I was given the opportunity to look at God's heart to set the captives free, through discipleship, healing and deliverance. Through prayer and counseling I saw God set many people free from deep wounds they had long carried and from sin patterns that they had been entrapped in.

Upon arriving back Ukraine and delving into my work with Orphan's Promise in Kiev, I was tasked with planning a conference for all our OP workers in the field, a conference on the topic of healing and deliverance! Go figure!

So the past several months have been quite full as my team has been planning and preparing for this 3 day event for our 130+ staff and volunteers serving in the former Soviet Union.

The conference took place in June (literally right before we left for camp). After reading so many field reports over the years, it was a privilege to meet all our staff and volunteers who are loving on orphans all across Ukraine, Moldova, Armenia, Russia and Kazakhstan.

One of our OP teams in Armenia

Terry Meeuwsen, our director of OP, was here in Ukraine filming several several stories about the work we are doing, and so was able to begin our conference with her own personal testimony of seeing the need for healing in the lives of orphaned children. Terry recognized that when she adopted, bringing the kids home was just the beginning, and that the healing work that God would need to do in the lives of her daughters would be extensive. Terry is an amazing woman, who herself has adopted 5 children (3 from Ukraine) and has a deep burden for those kids left behind in this country. I am so blessed to work with this awesome woman of God and am grateful for the time she was able to spend with our team while she was on this trip. She is a woman of much wisdom.

Chester & Betsy Kylstra

Our main teachers/speakers for the weekend were Betsy and Chester Kylstra from the ministry "Restoring the Foundations" based in North Carolina. They are a lovely, Godly couple who have a calling to see God's children set free from strongholds we face in life. In preparation for the teaching we had one of their books translated into Russian for all of our conference participants. It was not only a time of education for our staff but also of personal ministry, as people were given the opportunity for personal prayer, which was very significant. It seemed that people left refreshed and encouraged and with new energy to return to their various projects in the field, now having a new understanding of the deeper issues that face their youth day in and day out.

Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;

Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

Psalm 103:1-5

Nataliya and I doing introductions of the teams

Happy Independence Day

2011-07-04T14:22:00.001+03:00

Well, after 10 challenging, heart aching, tiring, yet very blessed days of camp-- I am now back at home. It has only taken me about 3 days to recover my energy!

I will plan on posting some pictures and stories this week about our adventures in Odessa with all of our youth-- the highs and the lows and how God was at work in our midst.

But for now I'm in the kitchen today trying to make several 'traditional' American dishes to take to a 4th of July party this afternoon...it is a privilege to celebrate our freedom even if it means I'm doing so in another country!! Living in Ukraine I am reminded even more about the freedom I have as an American-- and I thank God for my country and all the blessings He has provided.

Though the freedom I am even more thankful for and more passionate about is the freedom that I have found in Jesus-and the renewed freedom he gives me each day.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galations 5:1

Off to Camp we go...

2011-06-19T16:50:00.000+03:00

Well after a very full week of putting on a conference/training for 130 people (more on that later)- we are now off to put on a camp for 70 youth. Call us crazy for planning two such large events back to back or perhaps we are just living on a lot of FAITH! One thing is for sure....my girls and I are very TIRED. So please be praying for supernatural strength to be with us as we venture today towards Odessa to begin our 10-day camp. May our strength and faith be renewed and may our eyes be fixed on the author of perfect PEACE.

last year's camp in Melitople

team of leaders (may the same this year)

We will be working with 8th and 9th grade orphans from the Kherson region and partnering with our dear friends from the ministry Agape to put on this camp. Please please keep our team and these youth in your prayers. I always need to remind myself it is like going into battle when we do these camps.

these are always put to good use...but for a different kind of battle!

Our prayer is that these kids would have eyes to see and ears to hear and hearts to receive all that Jesus has for them. Will you pray that prayer with us?

We return July 1st and I'm sure to have many stories to share.

Stay tuned....

THANK YOU!

2011-06-18T23:50:00.000+03:00

Since I last posted, we've had over $5,000 come into our account for the Window to Hope Project! God is so good! Thank YOU for being his hands and feet to make this trip a reality.

I have been overwhelmed by the friends that have stepped up to make this happen- old friends and new-- some I've never even met- and from all around the world!! Wow-- it has been humbling to see God's provision and to see so many uniting to make it possible. Every dollar has helped!

Our 14 visas are in hand (13 kids and a chaperone) and we are about a month away from travel! From our recent calculations, we only have about $3,000 left to raise.

If you've not given already, will you please pray and consider? Every bit will help....see post below for details on how and where to give.

Now I just need to gear up for escorting 13 children (and one adult) who don't speak english and who have never flown in an airplane on a 3 leg trans-atlantic flight----yikes! I won't think about that quite yet....

Can you be 1 of 500?

2011-06-04T13:12:00.001+03:00

Meet Marina, Vasya, Lena and Ilona.

These are the 4 sets of eyes you will see in this post... 4 children who are hoping that their eyes will get to see the USA this summer.

Do you want to be 1 in 500? You can be.

I'm looking for 500 people to partner with me to make this trip a reality. And in a world of 500+ facebook friends and hundreds of blog hits- I know there has to be 500 people out there who are reading this and who I am praying can help.

This summer I am partnering with my home church (Northshore Baptist) to bring 13 orphans from Ukraine to the Seattle area for 3 weeks in July and August through our new project called 'Window to Hope'. While they are in the US these children will live in host families and experience many 'firsts', starting with flying on an airplane in late July!

At first we planned on bringing only 9 children, but then because another hosting group backed out at the last minute we ended up having the opportunity to bring 13. Though it required a lot of faith to begin to raise money for 13 kids when we didn't have money for 9, we prayed and sensed that this is where God was leading. It just didn't seem right to leave 4 kids behind!

But we need help to make this trip a reality. Our fundraising efforts have been going really well, but we still need about $10,000 to make this trip happen. This will include covering the airline tickets for all the kids and a chaperone, in addition to the costs involved in preparing their documents and receiving a US visa for travel.

I realize that the money left to raise can seem like a lot- but I know that God is a God of infinite resources- and I also realize that it just takes a lot of people doing a little bit to make things happen-- including raising money.

I really don't like asking people for money. In fact I wasn't even a good girl scout because I hated going door-to-door selling cookies! But I also recognize that this is an opportunity to be a part of something life changing for 13 kids-- and who wouldn't want to be a part of that?! And since orphans are closer to the heart of God than thin mints I guess I feel it is okay to ask :)

It's really simple. If 500 people each donated $20 than we'd have our target goal! Would you consider and pray about partnering with this effort and asking others to do the same? Can you give $20 or more? Every bit will help.

We have our visa appointment on Monday and will then be moving forward in faith to purchase the airline tickets. If you could prayerfully consider making a contribution in the next couple weeks it will greatly help us along in our process.

To make a tax deductible donation:

You can donate online here: http://www.colinkonline.org/donate/?acct=828

Or you can send checks to:

CoLink

PO Box 82188
Kenmore, WA 98028-0188

In the memo write #828 and that will ensure it goes to our project!

If you make a donation, please leave a comment here and say that you are part of the 500 people uniting to bring a window of hope to these orphans!!

Thank you for your support and please be praying!

(**project blog: www.windowtohope.wordpress.com).

New Ukrainian Adoption Statistics

2011-06-02T11:03:00.000+03:00

Below are the statistics I mentioned in an earlier post. These are the official Government stats on adoptions in Ukraine for the year 2010. You will first see a break down of adoptions by foreign families in the first grouping of numbers, and then a break down of adoptions by Ukrainian families in the second grouping. The left hand column is the region of Ukraine that the adoption took place. The first list of numbers is the total adoptions in that region (grand total at bottom) and then the following columns break it down by age of the child that was adopted.

Unfortunately the statistics do not provide information to special needs kids, HIV+, downs syndrome and other health issues. In my opinion, these cases would make up most of the foreign adoptions of children aged 3 year olds and younger.

You will also notice the large percentage of adoptions from the eastern regions and low numbers in the western regions. The main factor in this is the socio-economics in the two sides of the country. The east side of the country has a higher percentage of drug users, alcoholics, prostitution, broken homes and as a result more orphanages and orphans. In contrast the economy and life style in the west are a bit better and as a result, so is the family unit. There are also more families in the west that are willing to take children into care.

Here are the numbers.....




	*Adoptions in Ukraine by Foreign Families by Region*
	Total Children	Under 1	1-2 yrs	3-5 yrs	6-10 yrs	11-17 yrs
Crimea	70	2	11	11	33	13
Vinitsa	22	0	2	2	12	6
Volyn	0	0	0	0	0	0
Dnipropetrovsk	86	2	12	13	43	16
Donetsk	187	1	48	46	66	26
Zhitomer	31	0	3	6	18	4
Zakarpatia	17	0	2	6	9	0
Zaprozhzha	101	4	19	17	40	21
Іvano-Frankivsk	0	0	0	0	0	0
Кyiv	102	3	9	21	48	21
Kirovograd	56	4	9	12	18	13
Lugansk	94	6	15	12	33	28
Lviv	8	0	2	2	4	0
Mikolaev	44	0	13	12	15	4
Odessa	108	4	23	25	36	20
Poltava	29	3	7	7	8	4
Rivne	4	0	2	2	0	0
Sumy	31	0	7	2	4	18
Ternopil	4	0	0	0	4	0
Kharkiv	54	2	8	13	28	3
Kherson	16	2	4	2	6	2
Khmelnytski	23	1	11	4	6	1
Cherkasy	29	1	3	6	12	7
Chernivtsi	6	0	1	2	2	1
Chernigiv	39	1	11	10	11	6
Kyiv city	27	1	3	5	7	11
Sevastopol city	14	1	3	4	2	4
Total adoptions:	1202	38	228	242	465	229




	*Adoptions in Ukraine by Ukrainian families*
	Total Children	Under 1	1-2 yrs	3-5 yrs	6-10 yrs	11-17 yrs
Crimea	145	55	42	33	12	3
Vinitsa	64	22	17	16	7	2
Volyn	45	19	10	10	4	2
Dnipropetrovsk	200	95	52	38	10	5
Donetsk	279	133	78	44	17	7
Zhitomer	52	18	19	13	1	1
Zakarpatia	77	26	17	24	7	3
Zaprozhzha	111	60	28	13	6	4
Іvano-Frankivsk	24	9	5	4	4	2
Кyiv	118	47	26	23	19	3
Kirovograd	84	33	24	17	8	2
Lugansk	163	87	41	25	9	1
Lviv	62	30	10	13	9	0
Mikolaev	52	18	20	8	5	1
Odessa	143	59	48	27	5	4
Poltava	68	28	15	20	5	0
Rivne	50	11	15	17	7	0
Sumy	38	16	16	5	1	0
Ternopil	20	4	5	6	5	0
Kharkiv	105	58	30	13	4	0
Kherson	79	36	21	12	9	1
Khmelnestsky	27	9	13	4	1	0
Cherkasy	57	33	13	6	4	1
Chernivtsi	23	5	9	5	3	1
Chernigiv	45	14	18	8	3	2
Kiev city	78	40	15	9	10	4
Sevastopol city	38	19	7	7	4	1
Total adoptions:	2247	984	614	420	179	50

Hope you found these helpful and interesting.

While I was out...

2011-05-26T17:15:00.000+03:00

So if you've noticed I never posted the follow-up to my last post...that is because I just 'stepped out' for a couple weeks! (I promise I'll post it soon!)

I headed off to Athens and the Greek Isles for 9 days with my parents...to meet my Greek roots and take a little 'time out' :) (my great-grandfather immigrated from Greece).

This has been one of my 'dream trips' for quite some time, so it was very exciting to take this adventure and to do so with two of my most favorite people...mom and dad.

we explored Athens

ate a Greek salad just about everyday!

Enjoyed the sites of Mykinos

amazing sunsets!

beautiful churches

wonderful parents

volcano views!

And just plain relaxed!

I read 4 books! Don't remember the last time I read even one! It was a great break...but I've returned to a bit of 'crazy' here in Kiev! Lots going on as the summer season begins and we prepare for a conference, two camps, two hosting programs brining 23 kids to the US and many adoptive families traveling over to Kiev! Alright, enough play...time to get back to work.

Adoption Summit

2011-05-08T23:56:00.000+03:00

Last weekend I had the privilege of being a part of the organizational team behind a national adoption summit through the Alliance, "Ukraine without Orphans." This is a new national movement that is gaining momentum as Christian organizations, churches and individuals partner together for a common goal---a Ukraine without orphans. The goal of our adoption summit last weekend was to gather key individuals from every region of Ukraine and come together to strategize about the work that needs to be done at the local and national level to ensure that waiting children are placed in homes and that the church is being encouraged, mobilized and equipped to adopt Ukrainian children.

We had about 60 people in attendance, representing over half of the regions of Ukraine. Many of the people attending were either adoptive parents themselves, Christian social workers, or adoption advocates in their perspective regions.

On the last day, the group stood in a circle and shared what had been meaningful about the weekend-- and I wish I could better describe the gratitude that was expressed. It was clear that this is a dynamic group of passionate individuals and that this summit helped bring them the encouragement and strategy they needed to keep running the race.

When it came to my turn to share, I told the group that I was honored to be apart of the summit, and that I could say with joy that 'I am not needed here.' This doesn't mean that I have plans to pack up my bags and leave Ukraine, but there was something very humbling about being the only 'foreigner' amidst a group of nationals and to see them praying, planning and dreaming about what God has next for Ukraine in the realm of adoption and orphan care. I've truly seen Christians come a long way in the last 6 years in their relationship towards adoption. What an answer to prayer!

I have a bunch of new adoption statistics (domestic and foreign) for Ukraine from 2010 and I will do my best to post those soon, as I know they will be interesting to the international adoption community--just need to translate them first.

Stay tuned...

A Picture of Restoration

2011-05-02T22:08:00.000+03:00

Ever since I moved into my new apartment, this ugly piece of furniture has been staring at me in my bedroom. I had goals of doing something to it-- but didn't quite know what...or how to begin! Well, my best-friend in Seattle has been blogging lately about all her 'restoration' projects-- where she finds seemingly useless or ugly stuff and revitalizes it into works of art. She was the beginning of my inspiration.

I too love the idea of taking something meant for the good-will (which by the way doesn't exist here) and seeing it repurposed with beauty....

On Easter morning I had new house guests arrive to my hospitality house (aka my apartment!). Rhonda and her newly adopted 16-year-old daughter Kasey, arrived at my home a little weathered from their lack of sleep on the over night train. It was clear from the moment Kasey walked in that she was a girl in grief. Though excited to be adopted to America (where she had been hosted 3 times) there was a deep sadness in saying goodbye to her homeland and her friends--everything that was familiar. We sat through a silent breakfast of sorts, Kasey doing all she could to hold back her tears...which ended up flowing by the end of the meal. Her mother also struggled, not knowing what to do to comfort her daughter, who so clearly was struggling with a variety of emotions. I told Kasey that what she was feeling was normal and in reality really healthy, as it means she had real relationships-- and that was a gift. I told her she could cry as much as she wanted....and she took me seriously. We got through the day and by the end of it things were looking a little brighter than they had in the morning.

The next day I had off work, and decided it was time to tackle the 'restoration' project. I hadn't anticipated having help, but before I knew it, mother and daughter were by my side helping me sand down the wood and then begin painting.

Something amazing happened as we began to strip away the layers of the old shelf. Kasey began to relax and talk. Before I knew it, we were laughing and joking and she was asking me questions about my life and sharing a bit about hers. As we worked together throughout the morning I began to see life being restored to the sad girl who had entered my apartment the day before--it seemed a full transformation. With paint brushes in our hands I saw an old Ukrainian bookcase being transformed into something lovely and I saw a glimpse of what God intends for an orphaned Ukrainian girl-- full restoration.

Restoration is an interesting process-- it isn't just one quick paint job to fix something. After we had finished the coat of paint and let it dry, we pulled out the sand paper and then sanded it again. The second time that we sanded allowed us to strip the bookcase again, to give it an antique look, and to make it porous to absorb the final gloss I would then apply to give it the final finish. And when we added the gloss it filled in the gaps beautifully. The roughed up parts that remain have this unique quality- giving the whole piece character.

With adoption, I think sometimes we see the restoration part as taking the kids out of the orphanage. But in reality that is just the first coat of paint. You can fool a lot of people from the outside with new clothes and a happy family photo-- but it is the deeper sanding, or refining that needs to take place-- the layers that must be stripped away so that restoration can take place. And sandpaper really doesn't sound very good when it is in your hands...in fact it really hurts my ears. But it is amazing the difference it makes.

I love that the Lord allowed me to work on this project with Kasey. I didn't know she would be with me that day, and yet it worked out that she was. As we painted, it was as if God was giving me a picture of what adoption is about....what it means to see beauty from the ashes. And it really does take work- and time. I only wish it could be as quick as restoring an old bookcase.

As I walk into my bedroom now, the first thing I see is this beautiful piece of furniture. A piece of furniture that many would have discarded. But I am glad I gave it a chance. It will forever be a visual reminder of one girl, on her path to restoration.

The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Children of Mukachevo

2011-04-23T01:08:00.000+03:00

Jesus said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." Luke 10:2

I spent a couple days this past week in the harvest fields of Mukachevo, Ukraine. A city nestled into the valley of the Carpathian Mountains of Western Ukraine. For a little over a year now, Orphan's Promise has had several projects going on in this area, working with a local orphanage and 3 gypsy communities.

I've read the monthly reports that our team in the region has sent in over the past year, but this was the first chance I was given to visit and see first hand the work going on.

The gypsies, or the 'Roma' people in Ukraine, are a people group that can be found largely in western parts of the country-- their population somewhere around 14,000 surrounding Mukachevo. Their history is complex, and their poverty some of the worst I have seen.

Because of their skin color, their social background, lack of education and the negative stigmas that surround their lifestyle, the gypsy people in Ukraine are largely discriminated against. It is difficult for them to obtain work, education and even medical care in this country. They are deemed outcasts.

While in Mukachevo I visited 3 different Roma communities, or as they are more often termed, 'gypsy camps.' One of these communities had 5,000 residents- and no plumbing or water system. The shanty style homes were the first thing my eyes caught attention to as we drove in-- that and the children of all ages everywhere- running to greet our car. The children came quickly to see the new visitors that arrived with Natasha, the woman who works with coordinating our program in this camp. Most of the children don't speak Russian or Ukrainian, but instead a mix of Hungarian and a gypsy dialect-- so communication was more of a challenge. They could answer 'what is your name' without a problem-- but had a hard time understanding my Russian beyond that.

For 3 months now, Natasha has been leading a group of volunteers to come out to this specific community 2 times a week to teach lessons in Life Skills, Bible, and the Russian language. About 40 or so children attend these lessons, and at the end of their lessons they are given a hot meal that our team provides. For many of them- these are two of the only concrete meals they can count on for the week. From the way they came bounding towards Natasha and the teachers it was obvious that the kids were more than eager to learn and engage...and eat!

The teachers I talked to while I was there said they have noticed a change in several of the children in just the 3 months that they have been coming. Several kids, they said, are just so hungry to learn, and are grateful that people from the church care enough to come and teach them. One mother I met was in tears with gratitude as she thanked our team for coming to teach her children. She said she now had hope that her children could have a different future.

I was without words as I observed the poverty that these children live in each day. It is a vicious cycle of poverty that they have been born into and one that has existed for generations. It has become their normal. It disturbed me how 'normal' it seemed to them-- covered in weeks of filth and dirt, and yet still grinning from ear to ear and running wild. I wanted to just scoop up a couple of them and give them a good bath! I also wanted to tell teenage boys that it is not safe to ride a motor bike with a toddler attached to the front! But in that moment I also realized that these children need so much more than just a good bath or a lecture from some American girl. A bath and a lecture would seem to be a quick fix-- but it would be temporal. It wouldn't last for more than a few moments and wouldn't change anything.

I recognized that what our teachers are doing each week will take TIME. That results won't be seen in an instant. We can't pluck up this entire community of 5,000 people and change their situation over night. But we can begin a work for this new generation- teach them work skills, and living skills, and above all about Jesus.

I was inspired by my friend Natasha and her commitment to these children. She recognizes that she may never see the full fruit of her labor-- but she recognizes the call to love and serve this people group...and to start somewhere.

On my way home, as my train rattled away from the Carpathian Mountains back to the comforts of Kiev, I was reading in Matthew where Jesus tells the disciples that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. I couldn't help but think of the little faces I had met the days before-- and of how many more workers who are needed to be sent into that harvest field.

What is the harvest field that God is calling you into today? Will we follow him there?

Seeing the Hand of God

2011-04-13T14:37:00.003+03:00

This is a post I've been meaning to write for quite some time and yet I didn't really know quite where to start the story. So here goes...

If you've been floating around adoption 'blogville' for the last few months you most likely have come across the Peck family on their adoption journey. For those of you that haven't, I wanted to use this post to tell you the story of quite frankly the biggest miracle I've seen take place in all my years of working in the adoption realm.

My relationship with Clay and Selene Peck began in September of this past year when we returned from a summer camp and had met a 15-year-old girl who wanted a family. Upon returning I was connected with the Pecks through some friends in Colorado. They had felt led by God to pursue the adoption of an older teen and it seemed like a match made in heaven with the girl we'd met at camp.

Paperwork started and all was looking great.....that is until the girl changed her mind 2 months later. It was difficult for us all to understand the 'why's' behind this whole situation, but the Pecks moved forward in faith, trusting that God must have another girl for them....a girl that would want to be in a family.

Fast forward to February. Selene and Clay arrive in Kiev and take a referral for a 15-year-old girl named Julia-- a girl they had learned about through a friend of mine who had known her for a few years. A girl who had prayed and prayed continually for a family, and who was only 3 months away from being 'too old' to be adopted internationally. Or so we thought.

Family meets. Girl says yes. Paperwork starts moving. This adoption story seemed like one that would be smooth sailing...until an error in the paperwork is found. One simple error. An error that changes everything.

The birthday had been wrong in the official documents and when crossed with the registrar’s office it was determined that young Julia was already 16 year's old-- too old to be adopted by US law.

Moments like these are the ones that make your heart sink. Moments like this have you asking the "Why, God?" questions. Moments like these send you to your knees in prayer.

We knew our only hope was to make a plea with the US embassy in Kiev, so that is where we went. But after hours of waiting and finally getting to talk to someone who seemed like they were in charge, we were told what we feared: "No Way." The law was the law, and although there had been an error in paperwork, nothing could be done.

We left the embassy in tears-- Clay and Selene both heart broken that they would need to return to the orphanage and tell a waiting girl that they could no longer adopt her. Again, the 'why' questions were racing through my mind.

The Pecks returned to my office to make a game plan of what would be next, when in walks my uncle Steve, who has an ability to inspire just about anyone! He heard the news and then challenged the Pecks to examine what God was asking of them and to see if they were to fight for Julia-- to fight for the orphan. He then went on to pray a very powerful and prophetic prayer. At the end of his prayer, all were in tears and Selene spoke up, “Maybe we are supposed to fight this…and whether we win or not, maybe this will help raise awareness in a way that God can use on behalf of orphans around the world.” Clay agreed and said, “Let’s fight!”

Immediately Clay set to work sending out emails to everyone he knew, putting messages out on Facebook --trying to rally the troops to pray. It helps being a pastor of a large church with people who know people! Amazingly enough, within hours he had been connected with high-level officials at the office of Homeland Security and was sharing Julia's story with people who have the ability to make decisions. He stayed up most of the night, writing emails, sending documents and trying to get Julia's story into the ears of people who could make things happen.

And while we slept through the night.... things were happening in the US!

Literally, within 24 hours of us having been at the US embassy in Kiev, Clay received a phone call from the local Embassy, saying that they would be able to adopt Julia! US law had been changed (or at least re-interpreted) on behalf of a Ukrainian girl. Miraculous. Let me say it again- MIRACULOUS!

When the Pecks showed up at the Embassy the next day they were met with smiles. The people there, who had been all gloom and doom the day before were in shock of the decision that had been made. Never before had they seen such action taken. And because of the "Julia Peck Decision" 16-year-olds around the world would be given the chance for adoption, as this new interpretation of the law would be effective in all consular posts world-wide. The consular representative said to the Pecks, "you must be pretty politically active people. I've never seen anything like this happen." "No" Clay responded. "We just have a church with a lot of praying people."

I have to say that I understood the power of prayer in a whole new way that day.

What an amazing God we serve!!

Within 24 hours the fate of a young girl had changed-- and the faith of thousands of praying people was immensely strengthened.

Its been 3 weeks now that the Pecks have been home with Julia, and I realize that this miracle is only one part of their journey. I believe God uses moments like these to remind us that He is in it with us. The road ahead of transitioning Julia into home life in America will be challenging, and will have its ups and downs, but the Pecks will always be able to reflect on their journey and know that God is in it. After all, He changed the hearts of kings to give Julia a family.

I pray too, that I never forget.

God's heart is with the fatherless. Julia's story will forever be the reminder of that truth.

Clay, Selene and Julia Peck- arriving in the US

You can see more of the Peck's story here

Or hear his inspiring sermon after returning from Ukaine here: http://vimeo.com/21891024

A Season of Singing

2011-03-20T23:53:00.001+02:00

In Ukraine, the people adamantly declare that the season of spring begins on March 1st. Accordingly, summer on June 1st, fall on September 1st and winter....you guessed it, December 1st!

Now, with my western mind-set this has always been hard for me to embrace. When I see snow on the ground on March 5th and hear Ukrainians declaring that spring has arrived, I kindly like to remind my Ukrainian counterparts that we in the west don't welcome spring till 21st of the month- when the calendar tells us and the weather and the flowers generally look a bit more promising than their snow covered state on the 1st of March.

After all, how can it be spring when it doesn't look like it?

No sun. No flowers.

Clearly...no spring.

I don't know about you, but the months of January, February and March have always been hard for me. Christmas has passed, the cold has set in, the sidewalks are miserable, the days are short and the summer dresses that are stuffed in the back of my closet seem a distant memory!

I have never enjoyed being stuck in the winter. Who really does?

While I was studying in England this past fall, I had a very meaningful prayer time with two older women who prayed for me and ministered to me one day in late October. I had felt rather 'stuck' in some areas of my life and in my relationship with the Lord, and God used this time of prayer to speak truth and life to me and bring restoration to my spirit. At the close of our prayer time one of the women shared with me a verse that she felt the Lord brought to her mind for me as we prayed.

"My lover spoke and said to me, Arise my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of signing has come! Song of Songs 2:10-12

I'd never heard this verse before, or if I had, I'd forgotten it. But as she read the sweet words, they each spoke to me in an instant. There was something strange, and yet oddly refreshing to hear a verse about the winter being past, just as winter was on the verge of dawning around me in the beauty of the English autumn. In that moment, it seemed both a promise from the Lord and a reminder about what it means to have eyes of faith when you can't see past what is in front of you. And prior to that prayer time all I had seen was the looming of winter.

As I lay awake the other night, staring at the ceiling above me, I started reflecting on all the things that God has been doing in my life and the amazing way he has been taking care of me. From the provisions of this new apartment, to the friendships I have here in Kiev, to growing ministry opportunities, to just the fact alone that I am loved by the creator of the universe and he takes care of me!! Tears began to fill my eyes as I started to reflect on all of this and I lay there just in awe of who God is.

The verse from Song of Songs that was given to me this fall was yet again brought to mind as I suddenly realized that those words had indeed become my reality.

These past few months I have been living in 'winter' and yet- in spite of the cold and snow, God has put a new song in my heart and given me the eyes to see the spring.

Window to Hope

2011-03-17T13:49:00.000+02:00

I am excited to announce that this summer I am partnering with a team from my home church (Northshore Baptist) to bring a group of Ukrainian orphans to Washington for 3 weeks July and August!!

We will be bringing 9 children from the Khemelnetsky region. I had the opportunity to travel and meet these precious kiddos this past week--- and let me just say that now that I've seen their faces, and heard pieces of their stories I am even more motivated and excited to bring these kids to the US for hosting this summer.

Each year our ministry partners with Ukraine Orphan Outreach in Colorado to bring kids to the US for a summer hosting camp (which we will continue to do this summer as well). But this is the first time I will be brining kids 'home' with me, and for that opportunity I am extremely grateful. It is a privilege to be given this possibility to expose my home church to the needs of orphans and give them a window into my world in Ukraine.

But we need help to make our plans a reality! By June we need to raise close to $18,000 to pay for the airfare, visas, documents and needed supplies in the US. When looking at that sum it can seem like a lot of money and a bit daunting, however when I start to think of how many people I know, and how many people have a heart for these kids, and I take into consideration that God is able to do immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine- I know that this sum is really not big at all!

So I am asking you to pray for this project and also pray about how God may lead you to give. We have a blog set up here: (Window to Hope) that you can visit to find out more about the project, and learn how to make a donation online.

Checks can also be sent and designated through CoLink:

To Donate...

You may make a donation to CoLink at any time by mailing a check to us at:
PO Box 82188
Kenmore, WA 98028-0188
Be sure to include the account #828 in the notes section of your check
(this is the account set up for the 'window to hope' hosting project).

I won't be able to post pictures of the kids online at this time, just for their protection and for ours- but I will just say that there are 9 adorable children anticipating a fun filled 3 weeks in the US this summer, and I am praying we will be able to see it happen!

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

~Ephesians 3:17-21

I will keep you updated as things move along...

2 years later in Germany...

2011-03-12T21:53:00.000+02:00

Last week, over the women's day holiday weekend (a beloved Ukrainian holiday) I was able to spend a few days in Germany with some dear friends of mine, the Cardens.

I have known Kristina since we went to college together at SPU- but we weren't really friends back in the Seattle days. Looking at our stories now, it is amazing to see how God orchestrated everything to bring us to the friendship we have today!

Kristina and her husband decided to pursue an adoption from Ukraine nearly 3 years ago, and heard through our mutual friend that I lived in Ukraine and was working in the realms of adoption and orphan ministry. Kristina and her husband Chris were at the time living in Italy, where Chris was serving with the military- and they brought me out to Italy to get to know them better and share with them about all things Ukraine and adoption. A beautiful beginning to a beautiful friendship!

Cardens in 2009

I got to walk alongside the Cardens during their journey in Ukraine while adopting sweet Nataliya and Matthew in May of 2009 -and we've remained dear friends ever since! So it was a real treat to get to reunite with them in their newest home (Germany) and get some extended time with their family. I joked with Kristina that we weren't really friends while were in Seattle, but God has seen it fit to grow our friendship in Italy, Ukraine and Germany! Gotta love international friendships! :)

sweet Charlotte

It was so much fun to see Nataliya and Matthew- now nearly two years in their home. They are both doing so well and are the most delightful and well-behaved 4 and 5 year-old I've met in a long time! It was fun to tell them that I met them when they still lived in Ukraine--already a distant memory for them. The Cardens have since added the adorable miss Charlotte to the family since I last saw them, so the baby time was an added bonus! Such a precious baby she is!

Highlights of the weekend included a trip to a castle for dinner, playing in the park, reading bedtime stories and saying bedtime prayers and sweet conversations with Kristina (oh and not to mention a much needed trip to IKEA to stalk up for my new apartment! Gotta love Germany for that!)

I am so blessed by the people that God has brought into my life through the means of adoption. What an added joy when we get to continue to walk out life together in the years that follow-- like I have with the Cardens. There is a special bond that seems to form when you go through the craziness of Ukrainian adoption (as many of you know!)

Weekends like this are just another sweet reminder that God has me exactly where I'm supposed to be.

beauty of the their quaint German village

Hospitality House

2011-02-28T12:04:00.000+02:00

I am very excited to use this post to announce a new development in ministry here in Ukraine-- A ministry to house Adoptive families while they are in Kiev!

In the six years that I've been living in Ukraine, I have been given the amazing privilege to walk alongside countless adoptive families on their journey to bring children home.

Through the relationships developed, I often ended up with a couple spending a night or even a week on my pull out couch in the living room of my last apartment. These couples didn't seem to mind the simple living conditions, but instead were grateful for a free place to stay and some English fellowship.

Hanging out with the Bollingers this past summer

This past summer I developed a dear friendship with Jason and Holly Bollinger, a couple from Texas who had a roller coaster of an adoption ride, and as a result ended up living with me for a week to save on cost. During this time with the Bollingers, the Lord again reminded me how much I enjoy opening my home to adoptive families and helping them get adapted to their surroundings. So I started to pray about what this could mean for the future.

I knew I was leaving for England for several months, but I began to put this vision before the Lord and asked that if it was His will, He would open the door for me to find a new place when I returned, one which would allow me to accommodate more people, one that would be in a central location for getting around the city AND that He would provide the financial resources to make it possible.

What followed were a series of amazing open doors and a rallying of support from so many resources!

Upon moving back to Kiev in January, I was able to find an adorable, spacious apartment to rent in Podol (a historic part of the downtown) for a great price! Upon finding the apartment I immediately had ministries wanting to partner in what I was doing.

I had shared the vision for the hospitality home with the ministry I work for, Orphan's Promise, while I was at our headquarters in Virginia in January. My leadership was very excited about the opportunity to minister to families in this way and gave me a green light to go forward. Orphan's Promise is standing behind me in this endeavor and graciously providing a portion of the rent.

my friend Mary helps paint!

When I returned to Kiev I learned that my church, International Christian Assembly (ICA) also desired to reach out to adoptive families in Kiev and they too stepped forward to offer financial assistance, for the endeavor, a paint team to get me started, and prayer support for families that will stay with me. In addition, Grace Place, a church in Colorado (from which many adoptive family friends have come) donated a sum of money to help me purchase the guest bed and needed linens to get started. To say I am grateful would be an understatement!

newly renovated living room!

I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the support and the people that have come alongside me to make this happen-- front paint crews, to financial support to remodel help- I am feeling VERY blessed.

It is AMAZING to see God's timing in how this has all come together as well. Within the first week of living in my apartment, I already was able to host 3 separate families. Graciously they were willing to live amidst the vast number of boxes and some remodel projects that were still going on! But we had fun and it was wonderful to see how God was already bringing forward families that were in need of housing and knowing that this apartment could meet their needs.

2nd night in my new home with the Roges and the Pecks.

I have just created a new website devoted to this hospitality home and you can visit that here and learn more information...as well as see a repeat of the above post! :) I look forward to seeing who God brings my way in the coming months!

An answer to prayer- 3 years in the making

2011-02-20T18:52:00.000+02:00

Meet Elizabeth (Lizzie) Roge.

Lizzie is my hero.

Lizzie is a young girl of great tenacity and of patience. Lizzie is a girl of prayer and of great faith. Lizzie is a warrior and a sweet spirit, a princess and a friend. Through years of great trial, many shed tears and uncertainty Lizzie has retained joy in her heart and has impacted many as a result. Today I can say that Lizzie is a young girl who has finally seen victory.

I first met Lizzie (then Zina) when she was 11 year's old at a 2 week summer camp we put on in the Kherson region in July of 2007. I got to know her better during the Christmas season of 2007 when she traveled with our concert group to Virginia and Colorado to perform with a group of 17 orphans in the 'Old Shoemaker' musical.

In Virginia with Rimma and Zina in December 2007

From the moment I met her I knew she was different then other kids I'd met. She had a sweetness and a kindness about her that very few children who are raised in institutions possess. She asked deep questions and had an honest desire to be known, and also had a longing in her heart for a family.

It was during this trip that Lizzie, along with her friend Rimma, stole the hearts of the Roge family in Longmont, Colorado, and after the girls' departure, the Roges embarked upon a journey to bring the girls home. They didn't know at the time the kind of journey it would be....or how long it would take.

Since both girls were not registered for international adoption, the outlook of bringing the girls home did not look good for the Roges. But this did not stop them. Opposition didn't stop them. They had heard from the Lord and they were determined to fight all odds to bring these two girls home. I have the utmost respect for Heidi and Felix Roge, who sacrificed countless resources, time, and so many tears to bring Rimma and Zina home (and in the mean time 3 other kids as well)! They are on my list of heroes. They are fighters and people of their word.

Rimma was able to be adopted and go home last year in February (2 years after they met her), and with the future of international-adoption looming uncertain the Roges once again had to say goodbye to Zina- praying that a year later her time on the international adoption database would come up and she'd be available for adoption.

That year has passed. Her time has finally come! 3 years of waiting, 3 years of waiting in a bureaucratic system and an institution are finally over.

with her Daddy holding the 'golden ticket' - the US visa

The little girl that I met nearly 4 years ago is now a 15-year-old beauty full of grace and strength and wisdom beyond her years. And as of yesterday she is now a US citizen and is sleeping under the roof of the place she belongs, the place she can call home.

Tears of gratitude fill my eyes as I write this post. Recognizing that years of prayers have been answered. I will never understand why it had to take so long for Lizzie, and why 3 precious years of her life had to be spent behind orphanage walls when a family was ready and willing to call her their own. Her story, unfortunately, is like so many others. It's just another reminder that this is a battle. This is a war against children. But there has been victory won today!

As Lizzie slept curled up next to me 2 nights ago, the night before her and her Daddy flew to America, I lay awake with a heart full of gratitude and joy. We don't always get to tangibly see the answer to our prayers-- but that night the answer was sleeping next to me....no longer an orphan. Wow.

Thank you Lord for that gift! Thank you for your faithfulness and thank you for answering prayers. You are mighty to save....and we are forever grateful.

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of JOY. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of JOY, carrying sheaves with him."

Psalm 126:5-6

What a week!!!

2011-02-20T17:25:00.003+02:00

This has been a week for the books!! In the past 5 days I've moved into new apartment, finished a remodel project, hosted 3 adoptive families in this new apartment, seen on of my favorite girls who has waited 3 years for her adoption finally get to go to her forever home, and witness God move the hearts of governmental officials in the US on behalf of a 16-year-old orphan! Whew!! What a week! Each story is unique on it's own, so the next posts to follow I'll share more about Zina's (now Lizzie) adoption, the Peck family adventure and my new hospitality home for adoptive families. Stay tuned for more news in the coming days...

If your Presence does not go with us...

2011-02-09T23:21:00.003+02:00

Last week my team and I had a wonderful prayer/planning day out of town. These two ladies (pictured left with me), Galina and Yuliya have worked under my leadership for 3 years now and enable me to do much of what I do. I always joke that these two, Galina and Yuliya, are my right and my left hand here in Ukraine. I depend on them for so much! In addition to all they do for me on a daily basis, they also stepped in and picked up all my responsibilities while I was away in England and the US these past 4 months. They bless me day in and day out, and it is an honor and a privilege to get to serve the Lord together with these Jesus-loving women. I love praying with them, dreaming with them, crying with them and living life together as we see God do amazing things in our midst.

the view from our 'retreat' spot

While in England I sensed that God was preparing me to enter a new season of life in many aspects. To expect newness. And more than anything, while I was away, I was praying for the Lord to bring newness and rejuvenation to much of the ministry projects we currently have going on through Orphan's Promise. It is so easy to do things just for the sake of doing them, or because it is the way something always has been done, instead of asking God for what he would have us do and follow him with a deeper level of trust.

So we took a day away from the office last week and spent some good time remembering why we do what we do and prayed about things we'd like to see happen in the future. We also spent some time praying for the many adoptive families that we've seen come and go over the years and for the sweet children we know that still remain in the orphanages-- praying for a revival and a spirit of adoption to fall on this country.

In the morning, prepping for our day away, I was reading in Exodus, and my day's reading had me in Chapter 33. Moses is speaking to God and is basically saying that he cannot lead the Israelites further if God will not go with them. v. 14 "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us?"

As I read those words, they resonated with something deep within. It is so easy to spend our days, weeks, months and years doing 'good deeds' for the orphans of Ukraine, and to do so without asking for the presence of God to go with us. I have been guilty of this before.

Ultimately if God does not go with us, if He is not leading our feet, our work will not produce fruit and will be done in vein. Above all this year, I am praying for God's leading, for God's sending and for His Holy Spirit to show us where to put our time, money and efforts.

Our prayer this year is the prayer of Moses...that the presence of God will go with us and give us rest and that we will not move forward if we are not moving forward with God in sight.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

Isaiah 43: 18-19

How was England?

2011-01-26T22:00:00.000+02:00

Question of the week: "How was your time in England?"

This is a challenging question to answer...let me tell you!

Of course the trivial answer is: "amazing." But that word does not even begin to do justice to the things I learned, the friends I made or the experiences I had. It doesn't do justice to the greatness and the faithfulness of God.

There is so much that I could share, and so much I feel like I'm still processing in my head and trying to sort through in my mind.

While studying at Ellel our group was given a free-writing day near the end of my time there. They said we could write on whatever we wanted. My mind raced about all the things I could write about, and the things I felt like God had been teaching me, but I didn't know quite where to start. The woman leading the session said if we were 'stuck' we could pick up a slip of paper from the front with some words on it, to use it as a sort of prompt. So that is what I decided to do.
The words were these: distant. pathway. whisper. As soon as I saw these words, I knew instantly where God was leading me to write.

The result is what follows. I decided I would share this here (for those interested) as it is just a good window into some of the things that God was speaking to my heart during the sweet season he had me in England.

I've been walking on a pathway for as long as I can remember.

Straight and narrow the path has seemed to be.

I have strived to keep you in my sight and guard your words in my heart,

And yet you've often seemed so distant. You've seemed far.

Beyond grasp.

I am told time and time again that you are near- that you are close.

But I can't quite grasp that with my mind.

The creator of the universe near to me?

Choosing to dwell in me?

You who set the moon and the stars in place,

You who spoke with the patriarchs throughout the ages and the saints of days gone by.

Can I be so bold as to wait with similar expectation?

With a longing in my heart for the God of creation to speak with me?

Your Word says you speak in whispers, in a still small voice.

Gentle.

Quiet.

Even faint.

Is that it Lord?

Have I looked for writing on a wall,

When instead you have written the answer on my heart?

Have I longed for you to part the raging seas of my life,

When instead you have walked me through them, holding me by your mighty hand?

Have I wanted to see your glory in a burning bush,

When instead you have given me a blazing passion in my heart?

Have I demanded a sign like a wicked and adulterous generation,

When instead I should see that in my life you have never left me or forsaken me?

Distant you cannot be. I will believe this lie no more.

On this familiar pathway I will remain.

Listening for your whispers.

Knowing they are all around.

Testing testing 1,2,3

2011-01-20T05:17:00.000+02:00

Anyone still out there? It has been awhile! And a much needed break I have to say! I have finished my season in England with Ellel Ministries and have nearly come to the end of my time in the US (where I have been for the past few weeks seeing family & friends).

I head back to Kiev on Friday and will jump straight back into work and life there! 2010 was definitely a whirl wind of transitions, moving about, letting go, trusting, and learning so much about myself and the Lord in the process. I'm excited for what God has in store for 2011!!

I shall be back 'blogging' more soon and sharing some thoughts from my time at Ellel and other things that are lining up for the coming year. Until then, I'd appreciate your prayers as I transition back to 'normal' in Kiev....whatever 'normal' happens to mean!

More of Thee

2010-10-27T00:24:00.000+03:00

For 2 weeks now I've been here in Farnham at Ellel. I've already been blown away by how BLESSED I am to be in this place in this time. I have never been immersed in the Word of God as much as I currently am now and I find myself falling in love with scripture for perhaps the first time.

We have this amazing little stream that flows through the lower end of our property and we've been encouraged to seek out the Lord by the river there... I guess it is a place where many have heard that still small voice and have found comfort and even direction.

Last weekend I was by that stream praying and asking the Lord to speak. I'd been praying for quite awhile and just crying out to the Lord and waiting to hear something-- waiting for the still small voice. Nothing. I don't know what I wanted to hear but I longed for something more then the sound of my own breath. In that moment I turned my i-pod on shuffle and on came a song I'd never really listened to before. Do you ever have those moments when you feel like a song could not have been written for anyone other then you? Because the words just speak to the core of what you are feeling. Anyway, as I began to listen, the words of the song resonated so deeply and directly confirmed a lot of things I had felt the Lord has been speaking to my spirit lately. Namely about the concept of Jesus increasing in my life and letting myself decrease. Dealing with my own pride, my own selfishness-- you know, all the fun things I can see in the mirror when I'm being honest.

This thought of needing to die more fully to the things of 'self' has been weighing on my heart for the past several weeks. As I listened to the words of the song and stared at the river stream gently flowing in front of me, the tears just began to flow from my eyes...

Friend for life

Who took my pain

The cleansing flood

You remain

Wash over me

Till I can't be seen

Living Water swallow me

Deepest river wash me clean

Jesus, Savior more of thee

Jesus, more of thee

Come and ruin me with Your love

So no other is enough

Come and leave Your mark on me

Jesus, more of thee

Friend for life

I'll carry on

Through the power

Of this flood

Let it spill over, over

Till I can't be seen

Deep is the stain

Inside of me

But deeper the river

That washes me clean

I've been the one

Who cries in the night

But you've been

The friend of my life

Living Water swallow me

Deepest river wash me clean

Jesus, Savior more of thee

Jesus, more of thee

Come and ruin me with Your love

So no other is enough

Come and leave Your mark on me

Jesus, more of thee

(Friend for Life by Watermark)

So I write all this to say, I am going to be taking a break from writing on this blog for a little while. As much as I'd love to use this as my processing point and share what God is teaching me here in England as it happens, I just have this conviction and sense that part of the dying to myself involves dying to things that can bring glory to myself. And this is one of those things.

"He must become greater; I must become less." (John 3:30)

So I'm putting down my 'pen' so to say for a season. I do hope to be back...but for now I just need to be a little nearer to the feet of Jesus and a little further from my computer.

Temporarily to be found drinking English Tea...

2010-10-10T23:51:00.000+03:00

My English adventure has begun!! I arrived in London on Tuesday and have had a VERY full week prior to arriving at my ministry course today.

I was able to visit our CBN office in Hereford and meet our staff there, spend an afternoon in Oxford and then 2 days in London with my dear friend Jenny. I've been to England a couple of times before, but I just adore this country (apart from the effect it has on my wallet)! I have been enjoying the long walks through the various parts of London, hearing the English language all around me without needing to focus on what is being said, beautiful buildings, Starbucks coffee, shopping, and the multiple tea times per day! I think I'm going to like it here...

My friend Jenny and I on a walk along the river...

I arrived in Farnham this afternoon, which is where I'll be for the next three months as I take part in stage one of the NETS course offered at Ellel Ministries Pierrepont. Farnham is a small town about an hour south of London by train.

It is like a breath of fresh air out here in the English countryside and upon pulling up to this beautiful old English manor (pictured here) I felt an overwhelming sense of blessing as I stood back and took in the fact that this will be my home till Christmas time!

The vision of Ellel ministries is to bring healing and discipleship to the body of Christ and to do so through teaching on a wide range of subjects and offering prayer ministry in order to bring people into freedom and wholeness. The ministry is based on Luke 9:11 in which Jesus welcomed the people, spoke to them about the kingdom of heaven and healed those who needed healing. I'm not only excited for how this time will be used in my own personal life, but also how God will use it in my ministry with orphans in Ukraine.

There are 58 people in my stage of the course...from 25 different nations. The age range is amazing too- we have people ranging from 18-65 in the course. I love the fact that I'll be studying among people of all ages and walks of life and it is truly a group full of so much life experience and wisdom. It was amazing to sit through the introductions this evening and just hear a bit about where people are from and how God brought them to this time of study here at Ellel. I'm sharing a room with 8 women who are from 8 nations! Canada, Australia, Norway, Mexico, USA, Netherlands, Malaysia and Sierra Leone! I think I'm in for a cultural education! :)

As many staff members and previous students shared tonight, they all said the same thing, "You'll never be the same after taking this course." I can't say I have come here with a lot of expectations-- and change can always be a little scary-- but that statement which was spoken over and over again has left me very challenged and intrigued. I'm very excited to be here and see what the Lord has to show me and teach me-- and I know that change will ultimately come as I enter into a refining process.

I'm excited for this new journey.